Post # 1
Is anyone else have this fear that guest will show up to a quoted “formal” wedding in all too casual clothing?
I look at weddings of friends on facebook and I always see pictures of a few of their guest in either jeans, women in pants, or young women in short “cocktail” (not so cocktail more cluby) dresses. AHHHH! I am aware that these people may have had a semi-formal wedding, or the formality was never made aware…but common a mini dress? jeans? polo shirts?!!
I sent out my invites, and I forgone saying my wedding was “black-tie” because I was afraid that if ppl knew what it meant they would think they would have to spend $$$ to get the proper attire.
I didn’t put “black tie optional” because if ppl don’t know what it means they may think it means “formal” or “not formal” (it’s optional…hahah. I actually heard someone ask this before).
So I said my reception was a “formal” reception, hopeing people know it actually means FORMAL and not just a pretty dress that hits midthigh, or a nicely pressed polo shirt. I really hope ppl know….I am nervous. I hate jeans at weddings!!
Post # 3
I have never, ever seen a guest in jeans at a wedding. I would imagine I dont even have those types in my family nor my social circle. Surely you know who you are inviting and if they are capable of wearing formal attire…..
Post # 4
Why worry about it? You can only control what your wedding party wears, not the guests. Even if someone wears jeans, they’re the ones that will look bad.
Post # 5
@gelaine22: that’s the thing I don’t know my FI’s friends.
also i have friends all over the world from traveling, and casual weddings are becoming a thing now (not that casual weddings are bad)
why worry…because have you ever been to a event where you put effort into looking good then someone walks in in flipflops and shorts. I just think it ruins the mood and formality of the whole event
Post # 7
@KingsDaughter: I have but I just feel bad for the underdressed person. It doesn’t have any affect on my life and worrying about it won’t change the outcome.
Post # 8
I’ve thought about this too, but in the end, its not that big of a deal. Its not like you’re going to put pictures of them on the wall or anything.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo
It’ll be fine. What’s important is tht you’re surrounded by your favourite people, no matter what they wear. Maybe you’ll be so happy to see them on your big day that you won’t really care….
Post # 10
Seems like wasted effort to care about it. You can’t control it, and only they will look silly and out of place if the dress to the wrong formality. It won’t reflect on you.
Post # 11
@KingsDaughter: From personal experience, my daughter’s wedding earlier this month, we had ‘semi-formal’ reception so I expected some suit jackets, or at best a good shirt with a tie and some nice cocktail dresses.
I was really worried about my daughter/SIL’s friends because it was really a family wedding, everyone got to bring their children if they wanted, some opted not to.
So here goes…. the big surprise was one of our other daughter’s SO (we have 3 daughters) dressed in a knitted, short sleeves polo shirt with jogger type shoes WHAT GIVES. We discussed this after the wedding and our daughter said that it was a hot day!! So I guess the sun was just shining on her SO!!
From our own family after all the instructions/guidance I gave our children, one of our own family turns up looking like he is going to a Sunday BBQ.
It really upset me, but my daughter (the bride) and her husband didn’t even notice they were having such a wonderful time. You cannot, and I really mean cannot control other people even your own family. I am sure you have at least 100 other things to worry about.
Post # 12
I wore pants to a wedding… I gained 30 pounds after hurting my lower back and I have huge calves from birth and this ain’t the 1950’s I’ll wear my dress pants if I want! Just because I have a vagina at a formal occasion doesn’t mean I’m going to put it in a dress/skirt.
Ok… Rant over, but, is it actually an issue to not wear a dress?
Post # 13
@justagirlxo88: No, it’s not an issue to wear dress pants. That’s absurd.
OP, you really cannot control what people do. No one judges the hosts if a guest is not dressed appropriately. At my anniversary party, one of my BFFs’ fiances showed up wearing jeans and a casual shirt. Everyone else was wearing nice clothes, and it was a relatively casual party. (Outside, I didn’t expect suit jackets, it was 95 degrees in July). Even in the photos, it’s not that big of a deal. I’d much rather someone come than not.
There’s so many other things to worry about, this one is not worth your energy. Trust me.
Post # 14
Um, there is nothing wrong with women wearing pants to a wedding?
I guess you know your guests best. Have you been to other family weddings where these family member and friends wore jeans? Can you count on them to follow the dress code you want?
Post # 15
@KingsDaughter: If you really wish you can hire a “bouncer” that will man the door to the reception for the first hour or two (they may have a minimum) that can enforce the dress code.
Its a bit extreme but if you’re really worried then I would do that. If you want this bouncer can also serve as a “card box watcher” so you end up getting more bang for your buck.
I do understand your worries, my cousin brought a date to her sister’s wedding and he showed up in raggedy dress pants, random polo and dirty/gross running shoes. I thought it terrible of him AND of my cousin for allowing him to attend in such a state. Even if they didn’t say “formal” on the invite, I thought it terrible and still remember it years after the wedding. It definitely detracted from the mood/feel of the whole event 🙁
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
I used to know people who did this, they came in flip flops, jeans and a nice top they literally looked like they rolled out of bed and came to the wedding. Also because they were all friends, other guests did they same. It would irritate me no end if a group of people did this at my wedding. Just make an effort.