(Closed) Fear of guest wearing jeans and/or club clothes to formal wedding

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 77
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@geekspice:  I was thinking about doing this. I have some family members on my Dad’s side that tend towards the Bud-drinking, camo-wearing, gun racks on the pickup side of things, if you know what I mean. They are wonderful people and I love them very much, but I’m afraid that a couple of them might not dress formally enough and feel self-conscious. I am considering copying a few pictures from the J.Crew website or something.

I’m interested to know if it works for you!

 

Post # 78
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you just have to accept that some people in life need to play a game of “What Not To Wear” on their lives and haven’t figured out what’s appropriate.  Minidresses will probably happen but I’m sure if you stress the “formal” element that people won’t show in jeans. If one of my sisters wasn’t a bridesmaid, I know she’d be wearing something crazy like “formal shorts”. Even though those have been on trend and especially for people like my sis who has fab urban hipster style but ya know maybe save those for a gallery opening & not a wedding

 

@vmec:  you could def get away with wearing it to a club but also to cocktail events. But maybe something different if black tie is explicit. It is classy and flirty. LOVE it! 

 

I don’t know about you guys but I’m 33 so I’m not really into clubbing anymore (maybe once in awhile for bachelorette parties or friends’ bdays) but I have A LOT of charity functions that I go to for various orgs that I’m involved with. Sometimes those events happen in clubs, sometimes they’re more formal.  So I have several dresses that I can wear that would maybe be more high end club/formal street style and others that are definitely black tie. I would not take offense that people say your dress would be hot in the club bc it would! I want one like that myself so I can wear it with a cropped white tailored jacket for an event. SO pretty.

 

Post # 79
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@KingsDaughter:  i’ve had my concerns about this, but there’s not a lot that can be done.  there are so many more aspects of wedding planning that you CAN control, so try and worry about those instead.  

 

 

 

underdressing is just one more form of rudeness on a guest’s part.  if you fret about every person who belches, or texts under the table, or gets a little too drunk you will make yourself crazy.  if you are throwing a formal affair it’s probably a safe bet that the important people in your life know what “formal” means.  worst case scenario you can ask your photographer to try and keep a grungey guest out of pictures.  or if you’re REALLY dying to play fashion police you could get someone to play bouncer, but i doubt that would add anything classy to the event.

 

and just a side note:  i really do think “formal” is like a megaphone that says no jeans.  it probably doesn’t rule out clubby dresses or polos and khakis for the very very clueless, but you’d have to be pretty dumb to wear jeans to anything that requests formal attire.

 

Post # 80
Member
6386 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@KingsDaughter:  I’ve only heard of one incident where the bride was concerned about this, and did something that worked.  She had a prize for the best dressed male and best dressed female guests of the evening.  I personally find it easier to just not care.

Post # 81
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@k8:  I don’t take offense that people have called it “club sytle” at all. In my mind though that isn’t even remotely sexy enough to roll into the club with! LOL, now I just sound like a dress like a hoe bag LOL (maybe a little- when in the clubs :P) Either way,  

Point is I’d never wear that to a club, would I wear it to “black tie”? Probably, becasue it’s satin shiney and, therefore formal enough for such an occasion- at least that’s my opinion.

Post # 82
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@vmec:  that dress is gorgeous and not at all clubby in my opinion!  i would wear it to a “formal” or “cocktail” dress wedding, but i think it’s a little short for black tie.  I certainly wouldn’t mind if I were throwing a black tie wedding and guest showed up in that though.  I’d just be afraid to wear it for fear I’d be wearing the shortest dress in the room!

 

Post # 83
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Is this dress ok to wear to a formal wedding or is it more a semi formal dress?

 

 

Post # 84
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Opps, sorry the photo is so huge. Don’t know how to make it smaller.

Post # 85
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This is a total non-issue for me. I have better things to worry about than something as benign as what people wear to my wedding. I think it’s rude to try and tell adults how to dress, no matter how “cutesy” you try to word it, unless your wedding is truly black tie. Face it, if you have to tell someone how to dress, odds are they aren’t going to listen anyways. Personally, it’s more important to me that those close to me come to my wedding than what they wear. Fact is, most brides who want their guests to dress formal, are actually having weddings that require semi formal at best. Champagne taste on a beer budget, so to speak.

 

Post # 86
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it’s the people involved.  My cousin had guys in jorts show up, but my brother had guys in their tux’s show up at his.  I think word of mouth would do you a world of good.  Balls up and let them know. 

Post # 87
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

For many people club wear and the polo/khakis combo is formal wear. For some having on a collared shirt and ironed jeans is fancy. It all depends on the crowd and the age of said crowd. Sometimes people just wear what they have. For those that have and don’t wear it, hey at least they showed up.   

As far as the slacks go, i think you should find another cause to champion….. I vote yes to the fried oreos on the dessert buffet! 🙂 

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