I have tons of “pretty things” and still get nervous and self conscious. I never wore lingerie for my ex husband b/c he told me how awful I looked, and when i did try, he just laughed at me. I started with some cute matching (or go well together) bra and panties. I tried to do more lacy and sweet things that I liked and felt pretty in. I didn’t necessarily show them to my partner. It was more to wear something pretty and know I was wearing it (may be Too Much Information and silly but I wear pretty bras and panties when I have presentations b/c it gives me a little boost). I didn’t go straight for uber sexy stuff, but some little slips and stuff. When I’m worried about how I look, I do that, slip into bed and only light a few candles. I slowly am working may way up to straight up sexy sassy stuff!
I have this in pink (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646873175&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper) and love it. I have DD boobs, so I like something that offers even a teeny bit of support b/c then I don’t feel like they’re just flopping around. Plus the fabric feels nice on this and it’s not expensive at all.
I recently bought this babydoll set (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265645934492&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper)and I will warn you its chiffon. I know the description says that its chiffon but it doesn’t look sheer. It’s sheer (I have the purple). However it feels nice on and is also more sweet than sexy to me. And my partner LOVES it.
Also have this lacy little slip (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646482590&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper)and it’s comfy enough to sleep in. Some coverage but still sexy and fitted.
This satin slip (http://www.fredericks.com/The_Katherine_Satin_Chemise/46445,default,pd.html?cgid=li18) is cheaper than the one I have from Victoria’s Secret and the satin doesn’t feel as nice – but it’s still pretty dececnt. I alos love the fit and they have a great color selection.
I have this little tap panty and camisole set (http://www.fredericks.com/Satin_and_Lace_Cami_Tap_Pant/46451,default,pd.html?cgid=li18) which is cheap and to me feels like a nice happy medium between lingerie and underwear. It gives enough coverage that I feel comfortable walking to the kitchen for water (we live alone)
I buy “pretty things” just about everywhere, but most of my stuff is from Victoria’s Secret or Frederick’s. Frederick’s tends to have good deals on a regular basis, and for either sites free shipping with over $100 practically always. I don’t have a Frederick’s near me, and depending on my health I can’t really go to the mall that much. Sometimes I just find online has a better selection for Victoria’s Secret. I’ve even purchaed some cute things at Target. I really love little sleep slips like this: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=29511&vid=1&pid=857279&scid=857279022 and have a bunch (mostly from Target, Old Navy, and TJ Maxx). I do find lots of random cute things at TJ Maxx.
I will say that I weigh almost twice as much as I used to and I think I’m more comfortable with my body now than when I was underweight or slender. Just know that if you’re self conscious of your body that your partner loves it. I get so self conscious (especially b/c his ex wife was more slender than I am), but my partner does love my body – and honestly, he loves me in anything. I’ve been sick and laying in bed in little boxers adn a tank top and he tells me I’m gorgeous.