(Closed) fear of “pretty things”

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@punky2786: What are you nervous about? Being sexy? Being naked?

Post # 5
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Its all about projecting confidence! Big sex appeal in that , when a women comes at you dressed up and knowing what she wants.

Fake it until you make it!

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@punky2786: I personally like my everyday sexy to be understated. I like boy shorts/ cute boxer shorts and tank tops. Its cute to wear around the house, it will help build your confidence and will help you graduate to more sexy attire. Start slow, its ok.

Post # 7
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee

@punky2786: My advice would be to start by wearing your “pretty things” when your SO is not home. Kinda like “breaking them in” ! hehe You’ll get more comfortable with time and when you are ready to make him smile, go ahead and wear them for him ! Take your time sweety, no point in rushing this 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know how you feel!  I always see things in ads or in stores that I want to wear but I have no clue how I would ever pull them off.  I like the ideas of starting off slow and trying them and breaking them in when no one is around lol. 

Post # 9
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Honestly. I started with buying really pretty lacy bras and panties and wearing them under my normal clothes. Then I went to silky “pajamas” not extremely revealing, but sexy enough. I got mine at Kohls and Target. I’ve been wanting to upgrade to something a little more risque, but I just haven’t had the opportunity to go and get something to surprise my SO with 🙂

Oh, and I’m plus sized (not to gross anyone out at the image of me haha =P , I’m actually quite comfortable in my skin) and I haven’t had a problem finding anything that is flattering and I feel comfy in.

This is actually one of the exact ones I’ve gotten from kohl’s It isn’t too tight, and it hangs really nicely.

Post # 10
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My main advice would be to not try to “fit” (style-wise) into anything that isn’t your thing. For example, I don’t really enjoy “pretty things” that are the usual lacy type, I like more streamlined, vaguely sporty-looking stuff.

Post # 11
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Buy a babydoll-style “pretty thing”, toss your hair around, put on said babydoll in the dark, light a few candles in the bedroom, and just go for it.

Post # 12
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have tons of “pretty things” and still get nervous and self conscious. I never wore lingerie for my ex husband b/c he told me how awful I looked, and when i did try, he just laughed at me. I started with some cute matching (or go well together) bra and panties. I tried to do more lacy and sweet things that I liked and felt pretty in. I didn’t necessarily show them to my partner. It was more to wear something pretty and know I was wearing it (may be Too Much Information and silly but I wear pretty bras and panties when I have presentations b/c it gives me a little boost). I didn’t go straight for uber sexy stuff, but some little slips and stuff. When I’m worried about how I look, I do that, slip into bed and only light a few candles. I slowly am working may way up to straight up sexy sassy stuff!

I have this in pink (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646873175&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper) and love it. I have Dirty Delete boobs, so I like something that offers even a teeny bit of support b/c then I don’t feel like they’re just flopping around. Plus the fabric feels nice on this and it’s not expensive at all.

 

I recently bought this babydoll set (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265645934492&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper)and I will warn you its chiffon. I know the description says that its chiffon but it doesn’t look sheer. It’s sheer (I have the purple). However it feels nice on and is also more sweet than sexy to me. And my partner LOVES it.

Also have this lacy little slip (http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646482590&c=Page&cid=1319075845371&pagename=vsdWrapper)and it’s comfy enough to sleep in. Some coverage but still sexy and fitted.

This satin slip (http://www.fredericks.com/The_Katherine_Satin_Chemise/46445,default,pd.html?cgid=li18) is cheaper than the one I have from Victoria’s Secret and the satin doesn’t feel as nice – but it’s still pretty dececnt. I alos love the fit and they have a great color selection. 

I have this little tap panty and camisole set (http://www.fredericks.com/Satin_and_Lace_Cami_Tap_Pant/46451,default,pd.html?cgid=li18) which is cheap and to me feels like a nice happy medium between lingerie and underwear. It gives enough coverage that I feel comfortable walking to the kitchen for water (we live alone)

I buy “pretty things” just about everywhere, but most of my stuff is from Victoria’s Secret or Frederick’s. Frederick’s tends to have good deals on a regular basis, and for either sites free shipping with over $100 practically always. I don’t have a Frederick’s near me, and depending on my health I can’t really go to the mall that much. Sometimes I just find online has a better selection for Victoria’s Secret. I’ve even purchaed some cute things at Target. I really love little sleep slips like this: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=29511&vid=1&pid=857279&scid=857279022 and have a bunch (mostly from Target, Old Navy, and TJ Maxx). I do find lots of random cute things at TJ Maxx.

I will say that I weigh almost twice as much as I used to and I think I’m more comfortable with my body now than when I was underweight or slender. Just know that if you’re self conscious of your body that your partner loves it. I get so self conscious (especially b/c his ex wife was more slender than I am), but my partner does love my body – and honestly, he loves me in anything. I’ve been sick and laying in bed in little boxers adn a tank top and he tells me I’m gorgeous.

Post # 13
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I also have a fear of pretty things : ( Maybe try a corset set? Like a babydoll, it covers more, but it shows off your figure.

Post # 14
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

punky2786  i totally emphasize with you on this one, but dont feel overwhelmed like you cant pul this off, you totally can. Dont try to be anything your not, just you in sexy “stuff”. We are waiting for our wedding to be intimate and so while its intimidating i just went shopping last week for some pretty things and it got me so pumped! Just make sure you are getting things that your excited about, and from there i think the rest will come with time 🙂

Post # 15
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the bees that suggested getting something that is more “pretty with a hint of sexiness”, rather than “sexy 9.0” outfits.

Post # 16
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would also recommend buying things online (that come with a return policy if you don’t like it/they don’t fit). For me, I get suuuuuuuper embarrassed in those stores that have 800 employees in a department and they all seem to approach you to ask if you need any help… That is one thing I don’t want help with, thank you! It just makes me feel awkward, but buying pretty things at home in comfy jammies, totally a different story. Best of luck, I’m sure you’ll do awesome!

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