(Closed) Fed Up Minimalist Bride to Be Seeks Advise

posted 10 years ago in New York – Hudson Valley, New York
Post # 3
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009


So these are just some random thoughts, so please take them as you will.  While I suppose what you’ve described is somewhat non-traditional, it’s probably not all that unusual (certainly you’re not asking people to climb to the top of a mountain or anything).  I don’t think you should worry so much that people are going to be offended you haven’t made yourself broke trying to put on a party.  The ceremony is the most important aspect of the wedding, and if you’re having it at the church you attend I can’t really imagine anything more perfect.  And as for no DJ or cake, I don’t really think either of those is what makes a wedding.  In many ways, though more formal and larger, is kind of how some rehearsal dinners go (dinner and drinks with both sides having the opportunity to get to know each other).  If your families are meeing for the first time, they’ll probably have plenty to talk about.  And besides, everyone is there to support you both in your transition to married life…how can that be boring?

While it’s very sweet of you to be so concerned about your guests, it really does sound like you’re doing everything to make them comfortable.  So I’d say relax and enjoy what sounds like it’s going to be a very beautiful day.  If you’re really concerned about awkward silences, you could try to plan a couple of things…maybe a slideshow of pictures from your laptop?  And/or a speech thanking all your guests for makng the trip to your wedding?  I would imagine putting together the slideshow will also be fun for you and your fiance.

Good luck with everything…I’m sure it will be wonderful!

Post # 4
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

First I have to say that I almost went to NYACK College and am VERY jealous that you are living in my dream town!

Now – I want to give you the support you obviously need!

1 – this day is about YOU and your Fiance becoming one.  It is not about anything more then that!  the people coming to this are there to support you as you stand up in front of God and them and comit to each other for your lives!

2 – once you have number 1 down, think about the day YOU want.  The things that will make the memories you want to have for your lifetime and the way you want your life to start as a married woman!

Ok so with 1 & 2 down keep moving forward!

if i had to walk a couple of blocks to a party from a wedding, i would just pack flip flops and get in line!  how much fun would that be to have a huge group like that walking down the street – bride and groom leading the way.?!?! 

as for what to do at the reception – i LOVE the slide show idea and am so going to use that (i’m also not about spending money) and just let people mingle!

my cousin had a sandwich bar at which everyone made their own subs, then they sat at tables and talked and that was it – no dancing, no speaches, nothing – and everyone had a great time! 

what about asking your close friends to read something that they pick out that means something to them?  or maybe asking a favorite cousin to tell a funny story from child hood – just make sure it’s not the one about you wetting your pants or running around naked!

i love the ideas of keeping it simple! 

good luck and don’t stress it!!

Post # 5
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I’ve only been to Nyack twice (both times looking into vendors for my upcoming West Point wedding), but it’s such a gorgeous place. 

 About the walking bit.  Unless you have people on your guest list who you know have mobility issues (e.g. very elderly family members), I think everyone will be fine with the three block walk.  If you warn them before hand, they might not wear the super-uncomfortable shoes.  You probably will not have to worry about silences either because people get caught up in the wedding spirit and start chatting, sharing stories about how they know you or the groom and what you were like as children or commenting on things they pass during the walk.

 As for the reception, my fiance and I are also students with essentially no wedding budget.  Our solution was to break out the board games from famliy and friends’ closets.  Neither of our families really drink or dance, so we had no idea how to fill the time.  We’re having coffee and cookies for the people who want to sit and chat after they finish the meal and a few tables for the games for those who need entertaining.  We’ve issued a challenge to everyone when it comes to Cranium because we are the champs at that from our Friday night game nights with friends.

 Really, the entire day is about you and your Fiance becoming one and having a good time celebrating.  People will go along with it.  Be true to yourselves and what you want to do.  That’s what will matter most, I think.

Post # 6
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was recently a guest at a wedding very much like this.  60 person guest list, chapel ceremony, restaurant reception venue 1/2 mile away, ipod music, cocktail hour while the newlyweds did photos, dinner, no dancing, and it was over.  The families and many of the guests didn’t really know each other, either.  And…it was lovely!  Nobody was bored, the food was great, and the newlyweds were happy.  You have no need to stress out unless you know your guests are incapable of taking care of themselves — but I think that’s pretty rare.  Just enjoy it and have fun!

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