(Closed) Fed Up Of Waiting..

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Have you tried just straight out asking him whether he plans to propose soon?  You need a direct answer, either he wants to marry you or he doesn’t.  Either way, you need to know the truth so you can plan your future.

Post # 5
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s definitely time for a serious talk.  You two have a baby and if you both feel that you want to spend the rest of your life together, then marriage should be something that “he wants to do something about”. This may sound unromantic, but there are all kinds of legal reasons to get married if you have a baby with someone.   What if he dies unexpectedly?  Or becomes disabled and can’t help you financially?  What kind of benefits would you and the baby be entitled to? This may sound kind of blunt, but if he loves you, marriage should be something he cares about.

And as Sassy pointed out, you really need to plan for your future in case things don’t go your way.

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think this is one of those times that an ultimatum is necessary ๐Ÿ™

Post # 8
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

He shouldn’t need more time.  Armchair psychologist speaking: my advice to women in your situation is to take of yourself and your baby first.  Do whatever it takes.  You have nothing to lose at this point.

Post # 9
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband knew that I wanted him to WANT to ask me to marry him, but he also knew that my patience had it’s limits and that at some point the day would come that I’d be fed up with waiting and move on.  I didn’t threaten him with it, just told him honestly that he has his choices to make and I have mine.

I think it’s a good idea to really think deep within yourself and come up with a timeline (which you have based on your last post) of when you are willing to wait for.  

*hugs*  I know my brother was a bit engagement shy by the time he met my SIL.  He’d been burned 2x’s by different ladies, so he took his sweet time in proposing to my SIL.  Sometimes guys can be ultra sensitive about things, and I think proposals are one of those times.  ๐Ÿ™‚  Hopefully he’ll step up and realize that this is the right time to ask now!  

Post # 11
Member
9084 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@yummymummy87:

 

In that case, I think you have to ignore the words & focus on the behavior.  He may say he wants to marry you, but his actions are indicating otherwise.

I think you have to take control of your own future back.  Decide how much longer you can tolerate the situation & be prepared to walk away if he can’t give you what you want.

 

The important thing is to focus on yourself & your baby, not on “him” & what he wants, what he’s going to do, etc.  You have no control over that.

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