(Closed) Fed up with BM drama

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

what a pain – your sister is lucky to have you.  for the headcount question, not sure if you can get your money back on the tickets you’ve already spent or not, but it seems a call to the BMs in question is in order.  Let them know that you need the money by x date or the tickets are going back. You’ve given them plenty of opportunity to respond via email and you can’t float the tickets any longer.  Perhaps say that you would love to have them participate, but understand if it is too expensive.  That said, it would be appreciated if they could be a little more responsive, especially as the wedding approaches.

If that doesn’t prod them along, then you should definitely not buy things on their behalf or plan on them to do anything other than show up at the wedding.

Good luck! 

Post # 4
48 posts
  • Wedding: September 2009

I read your post and so much drama just makes be cringe. 

First, with regards to the bachelorette, it sounds like you need to make some voice calls and follow-up emails to the MIA bridesmaids, and the other bridesmaids, so everyone is on the same page and knows what’s going on.  Give them an absolute deadline to respond, and let them know what the consequences will be for not responding (e.g. you will invite someone else in their place or sell their ticket, etc.) You cannot contol other people’s actions or inaction, so move on with your plans. The wayward BM’s actions or inaction are their own responsibility.  It will be their loss if they fail to respond and miss out on the fun.

Second,it sounds like you are getting overly involved in your sisters Bridesmaid or Best Man drama.  Only she can decide if she wants the wayward BMs to continue being in her wedding.  Its her and her BMs relationship on the line, and she should be the one dealing with these problems.  Your involvement may be perceived as ganging up on the wayward BMs, which may be causing them to get defensive.

Be a sympathetic ear for your sister, a shoulder to lean on-that is a MOH’s job, not fighting the brides personal battles for her.

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