Post # 1
I am a 26 year old female and I just bought my first home (yay!!). I’ve been working on this for years trying to fix my credit, working 75+ hrs a weeks at 2 jobs at time to save up the money from the down payment so I could pull as little as possible from my 401k retirement plan. My boyfriend and I dated for 8 months broke up for about 9 months and have been back together for roughly about 10 months. We decided he’d move in as well as my best friend each paying a 1/3 or the mortgage. The conversation of marriage/ divorce came up recently since I told my boyfriend I would like him to sign paperwork stating he had nothing to do with the purchase of the home. He believes that if we get married and are together and he’s paying part of the mortgage (like every other renter would) that he’s entitled to the equity that the home accrues if we were to ever get divorced. This means that if he does not want to sign a prenup and we still get married and then later divorce he can force me to sell the house that I put my all into to make me pay him out on the equity accrued, but if the house for whatever reason gets foreclosed on or if the payments are not paid on time it is my credit and wellbeing that is on the line. He can simply walk away with no consequence. I have encouraged him to do the same offering him assistance in fixing his credit and just ultimately being supportive. This has been causing quite an argument and I would love some feedback on whether or not he should be entitled to the equity built off of my hard work and planning to even buy the house completely in my name. His family seems to think I am completely out of line.
Post # 3
I think the way you have brought it up is out of line in terms of ‘expecting the marriage to fail’.
Is there any option for you both to buy a house together or have him added to the mortgage? If you are going to get married at some point you have to let go. I’ve been going through the same thing myself, I have 2 houses that would be on the line. I’ve gotten him on the mortgage for one, still not sure what to do with the other.
Post # 4
I dont undertand why he would need to sign paperwork saying he had nothing to do with the purchse. He’s not on the mortgage, hes not on the deed… end of story, he has nothing to do with the purchase. What is he paying now is RENT, not the mortage and renters dont have any equity in the home they are renting.
Post # 5
Divorce laws vary from state to state, but in general, prenups are a good idea when one of the parties has a much larger chunk of assets (a family business, etc), that need to be protected if the marriage fails. In this case, no one’s name is on the ‘deed’ but the bank because there is a mortgage, but yes, in theory if one had xk equity in the house, and got divorced, half of that would belong to each spouse (again, state laws vary, you need to check the laws where YOU live). Only you can determine if the amount of money you have in the house is enough to cause you to break up if he refuses to sign a pre-nup. It is easy enough in a pre-nup to apportion out the equity if he is paying half the mortgage (ie, you get all the downpayment money back, plus 100% of equity accrued as of the marriage date, plus x percentage of the accural after the marriage). It does seem reasonable that if he is paying part of the mortgage that he should get some equity benefit out of it as well, just not a 50/50 split on *all* of it.
Post # 6
You should talk to a lawyer about this. Without a prenup, some states will consider the marital residence as joint property even if your the only one on the deed and you bought the house before marriage. Since your bf will be contributing to the mortgage, would you be willing to have a prenup that gives him some equity in the house, but less than your equity? He may be more amendable to an uneven split, then not getting any of the house.
Post # 7
You aren’t out of line, the house is your property and the equity in it is yours. Paying rent is not contributing toward the equity, he’d have to pay rent to live anywhere – he is not building equity in your home right now any more than your other roommate is. Aside from the fact that the vast majority of your mortgage payment is going to interest, taxes and insurance – NOT equity, even the small amount that is paying down principal is not equity that he is entitled to.
As for after marriage, as PPs have stated it will vary by state. In my state I believe that appreciation on pre-marital property that occurs during the marriage is still considered pre-marital property, so he would not be entitled to equity that builds on a house you owned prior to marriage even as it increased during your marriage.
That said, the fact that he’s getting his family involved coupled with what sounds like not so great finances of his own would make me nervous enough to contact a lawyer before I married him 😐