- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
This is my first post on the board, but I have been a fervent reader for the last 2 months (got engaged at the beginning of April). You all seem like a great, supportive bunch, and I’ve absorbed a lot of the feedback you’ve given other brides.
Anywho! I’ve been dreading the whole last name change topic because I vowed to myself (and other older women in my life) to never follow the patriarchal tradition and take my husband’s last name. I don’t really want to debate this whole matter because everyone has different opinions on it and they are absolutely entitled to that. The point is, I feel strongly about not taking his last name even though I love him desperately.
On the flipside, I am very lucky that my fiance does not like his last name. He is only close to his mother’s family. His father left a young age, and he hasn’t spoken or seen him in almost a decade. He really does not like him at all, to say the least, and does not want to pass his father’s name down to his children one day, let alone pressure me to take it.
I suggested we brainstorm a new last name, and we’ve embraced that with open arms. My parents are keen on the idea (as long as I don’t keep my maiden name — they still are traiditionalists in that sense). We haven’t told his mom yet, but since she’s changed her last several times — one time just because she wanted to — we think she’ll be okay with it.
The harder part is picking a last name! We could combine our last name’s but we haven’t found a good variation.
His name: Beardsley
People have come up with things like Graybeard and Graysley but I don’t know if people will take Graybeard seriously and Graysley sounds kind of creepy.
So we’re opting to come up with our own. He loves Kennedy. Just loves it. And I think it’s good — honestly, I think any new last name will take adjustment because I’m still attached to mine. And I like Kennedy because it sounds good with all the names I like for future kids (which I know is a long way off but we both think it’s a worth while consideration — some last names are very limiting with what sounds good with them).
Problem is — I think people are going to make fun of us a lot. I think they believe we are choosing Kennedy as an homage to the former president, which isn’t true at all. We don’t have any feelings about JFK, and I’m not sure why the last name Kennedy reminds everyone so much of him because if we chose Johnson or Washington or Carter, I don’t think anyone would even think of it! And Kennedy is actually a much more common last name than I thought, so it’s not even that weird!
However, a significant portion of both our families is quite politically conservative. Do you think they’ll have issue with the last name? Should we just try to make a variation last name work? Can you think of any better last names? My name is Ellyn and his name is Justin.
Here are a few others we like: Ohara, Roslyn, Davenport, Oliver, Winter, Rune, Faraday
Thanks for the help!!