(Closed) feel like Giving up

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry Frown Any way you can put the brakes on and turn it into your vision?

Post # 4
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Are they paying for the wedding?

Post # 7
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would speak up sooner, rather than later. If they’re offering no financial contribution towards the wedding then they should have very little say. It’s your wedding day and you absolutely deserve to have your vision play out. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time :o[

Post # 8
Member
3196 posts
Sugar bee

I just wrote a post on the same thing! People just think that their child’s wedding is to do their wedding all over again. Like LuluLove, I’m curious as to who is footing the bill? You’re still a long way off, can you turn it around? I think now is the time to start putting your foot down, otherwise this will set the precedent for the rest of your relationship with her. 

Also, I do think there is a limit to what they should dictate even if they are paying. I think if parents want to pay for a wedding they should be willing to say “we’ll help you with paying for you’re wedding” but it shouldn’t have strings attached that say “only if your wedding is what we want it to be”. In that case you should just pay for it yourself and have what you want. And if you can’t afford what you want on your own, adapt your expections (your as in general, not YOU). 🙂

Post # 9
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

SIX HUNDRED?!?!? Are you kidding me?! Are you inviting the whole town?

I feel like you and your Fiance need to have a sit down talk with all parents involved. There has to be a happy medium between a small back yard wedding and a SIX HUNDRED person wedding.

If I were faced with that, I’d have a destination wedding. Or elope (and just tell my friends when it was happening.)

Post # 12
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would tell her plain and simple, that since she is not contributing to your wedding, you will take her ideas into consideration and choose to do what you want. 600 is insane, who the hell is paying and agreed to that????

Post # 13
Member
4766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

YOu can’t know 600 people, it’s been scientifically proven.

Why are you talking to her about your wedding when she is not paying a thing.  Forget about her and plan it yourself!

Post # 14
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wait, you’re allowing plans for a 600 person wedding to happen when YOU are footing the bill?  That’s absurd and I really find it hard to believe.  C’mon girl, stand up for yourself.  Your Fiance will stand beside you.

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Perhaps you are refering to my ex-husbands mother….oh wait that nut job found me “frivolous” and the wedding was “over the top” according to her. She took no interest and given that family is everything to me, I should have known better than to bother marrying in to one with polar opposite values, no sense of tradition, no ethnic pride, no religion…

MFIL was difficult BUT b/c we have the same values, strong sense of tradition, ethnic pride and religion, I won her and the family over. It was a lot of work and involved a great deal of discipline but now we are super close and it was so worth it.

I feel for you, really I do. Ask yourself, do you share the same values, how important is it for you to have a good relationship, do you want to have her be an active part of your life. Asking thise sorts of things (to yourself) may give you some perspective.

I would never marry in to a family I did not share the above things with ever again! That is just me, I figure I learned the hard way from my starter marriage.

Best of luck and good vibes!

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