- Take The Reins
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Here is my suggestion…DESTINATION WEDDING!!!
My parents are contributing, but not a lot. SO when MY mom got over involved in weeks one and two of planning, I slammed the door on her right smartly…”mom, we have a budget, and a vision of what WE want. If YOU want more people invited, you and dad will have to pay the extra expenses.” That stopped her crazy inviting everyone who has ever met me or scratched my dog’s ears.
She gave me grief over my guest list WE had chosen “Mom, these are people who have been important in MY life, and who have shaped me to be who I am. This is not your wedding”. Haven’t heard anything more on my choices of who to invite lol.
She was feeding me negativity about EVERYTHING I said I wanted, location, venue, costs, guests, dress. I finally snapped and said straight up she could be part of this journey and share it with me and be supportive, or she could show up 15 mins before the ceremony and have nothing else to do with it. She got the message I wasn’t going to cater to her preferences and she is doing very well so far!
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!! If you truly can’t face down your in-laws and negative Nelly’s, leave town, take you Fiance and a few close friends/family and go to Vegas or even another state/town. HAVE your small, personal gathering that YOU want. Just send the in laws their invite and have it all planned out before saying anything. Then ask your inlaws if they would like to throw a party afterwards (folllowing weekend, later date, 1 year anniversary) and do a vow renewel and a party for the other 540 people they want there (and ask them to pay for it if they want it!) That’s how my brother and his now wife did it to stop all the family hysterics and drama they were throwing. And it worked really well for them.