(Closed) Feel like I’m being ungrateful (kind of long)…

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with exchanging them for something you like. Since you’re concerned about his ability to pick jewelry, can you take him with you when you exchange them and point out the features that you like?

Post # 4
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

that’s tough.  I would want him to just return it and save the 300 unless you can find something your really like for 300. 300 is way too much for just something you kinda like, especially if it could go toward the ring instead. I think you’re being smart with your/his money, not ungrateful at all.  I do think the earrings are very pretty though, but I wouldn’t pay 300 for earrings.

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I do think you’re wrong and being ungrateful. Your SO spent quite a bit on a present for you, looked for something that was your favorite color, and your reaction is to tell him that he overpaid and you want to exchange them. Ouch. That would definitely hurt if I was him. My Darling Husband kind of sucks at picking out gifts, so I just point blank tell him what I want when Christmas or my birthday is coming up – but if he surprises me with something it just seems mean to criticize it and tell him he paid too much or that I don’t like it. I can understand wanting to help pick out your e-ring, but I think you’re being way harsh about the earrings.

Post # 6
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The earrings are really very beautiful but if you dont like them, then you just dont like them. I dont think you’re being ungrateful at all. If he spent that much on a gift, im pretty sure hed want you love it and wear it. I know if my FH got me jewelry or anything for that matter, hed want me to tell him if i liked it or not. Thats what reciepts are for. I know hed actually want me to utilize the gift instead of it just sitting in a box.

Post # 7
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m going to try to dig up an old thread I started about what to do when your FI/DH gives you jewelry you don’t really like.  There are varied opinions on this, but what I ended up realizing is that the jewelry is special because it came from them.  Was it the best bang for the buck?  Maybe, maybe not (usually not!).  Was it what you would have picked?  (Maybe,  maybe not (usually not!) ๐Ÿ™‚  BUT – it’s special because it took though, effort, planning and likely some sort of financial sacrifice.

Darling Husband gave me a necklace we could NOT afford for Christmas (he’d be saving money on the side for months).  It is nothing what I would have picked out, and I did NOT have the reaction he wanted – but when I looked at him, his eyes were tearing up, because he was so happy to do something nice for me and spoil me in this way.  I’m a total delayed reaction person and have been so grateful for the gesture (even though there are a billion other things in the store he got it from that I’d rather have).

My feeling is – if you want a certain piece of jewelry – go buy it yourself.  When DH/FI/SO guys you jewelry, say thank you and be grateful.

 ETA:  I also feel like the real issue is you are annoyed he didn’t use that money in a different way (ie: towards your e-ring or towards repaying the TV).

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Here’s the thread I mentioned above:

What would do if you received jewelry you didn’t really like?

The funny thing (in reading it NOW – a year later) is that I love the earrings.  They are nothing I would have picked out – but they are what he picked out for me and that makes me happy.  He always feels giddy and proud when he sees me wearing them, and I’ve received many complements on them.  They’ve turned into my every day earrings and I love that they are real and that he did something special like this for me. ๐Ÿ™‚  I guess what I’m trying to say is that my focus shifted on the piece to what the piece represents… and that’s where the sentiment lies for me.

 

Post # 9
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Awww I kinda feel bad for your SO. He probably really thought he was doing something special for you. Poor guy ๐Ÿ™

I personally think the earrings are gorgeous and I would have a hard time returning or exchanging something from my Fiance (unless it was defective or a duplicate.)

Post # 10
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think they are gorgeous, but I can’t see them being worth $300!  It looks like something at Kohl’s or Penney’s that would be MARKED $300 then be 60% off.  

I have mixed feelings…on one hand, I feel like yes, you should be greatful and appreciative of the gift he gave you and stop complaining.  On the other hand, it really does not seem like they are worth anywhere near what he paid for them, (in the photo they just look like amythest).  If he did indeed pay $300, I think I would return them just because as pretty as they are, I don’t see them being worth what he spent.  I would try getting the money put back on the card he put it on, because if those earrings are that overpriced, I’m not sure I would want to shop there for anything else.

Post # 12
Member
4151 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@pinkshoes: This exactly.

I like them, but like you I don’t love them.  Not for $300!

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 You decided to get him an $80 keyboard and for all you know he thinks you over spent too. I recently shopped for bluetooth key boards and you can find decent ones starting at about $40 so if he is accepting your gift graciously why cant you do the same.

This is an xmas gift so its not something you have to wear everyday like an e-ring. He bought you expensive jewelry in your favorite color. I personally think its ungrateful to want to exchange it, or get something else

Post # 16
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Reign14: But even if I wanted to do that, the receipt says no refunds, only exchanges within 7 days!!! 


In that case, I think you suck it up, keep them, and wear them with pride knowing they were picked out for you by someone who loves you.  Maybe they will grow on you.

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