(Closed) Feel like I'm not worth it.

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Oh lawd…not ready at all. 

Post # 32
Member
5214 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

BalletParker :  

My engagement ring AND wedding band together were less than that. Crud. 🙁

Post # 33
Member
7375 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

So he wants to get engaged when he graduates which would be BEFORE he has a job so what does the “great pay” have to do with anything? At that point he’s lucky he can spend a few hundred bucks on a ring (at least I would have been at 18). Chip in and pay for your ring if it’s that important to you.

 If you’re equating your ring price to your “worth” you are likely way too immature to be considering marriage.

Post # 34
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

You can change a lot during the college years, so I think it’s best you wait until you are both settled. Getting engaged at 6 months right out of high school is too soon. And as what a poster said, if you want a more expensive ring set, you should wait until you are both financially stable and can afford one. $1,500 is a lot of money. 

And how well-paying is this job you are talking about (that he has not yet even worked at yet)? $100k/year?

Post # 35
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

jessiquh :  Your last comment resonates your immaturity level.  He’s 18 and you’re 20, what’s your hurry? I suggest you date a year and then start looking at promise rings! 

Post # 36
Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

If he can only afford a WalMart ring, how’s he going to pay for the wedding? And where will you honeymoon, the nearby camping grounds?

Post # 37
Member
2345 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m a bit 😕 at you reading weddingbee at 16. I mean the amount of time I’ve spent on here is pretty tragic too, but like most people I assume, I only came across it and got engrossed because I’d just got engaged and was googling related stuff (ring settings in my case) At 16 I was getting on with being 16. If someone had asked me if I wanted to look at their bridal magazine I’d have looked at them like they’d got two heads. I dreamed of going to university, maybe having a glittering career and flat-sharing with friends in London, shagging Billy Idol at some point, but not bloody wedding bells!

Why the rush to get married? If you are both each other’s “one” (I don’t believe in “the one”) then waiting a few years and focusing on education and careers will not change that. 

Post # 38
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Yall are missing the question.  If you want to say no to an ugly ring from walmart that is $150, then find a nice one off of etsy in your price range and suggest it as an alternitive.  Or buy an used/old piece from craigslist, offerup, or diamondbistro.com  

We don’t marry for money, nor should we marry for jewels.  My husband and I were 15 when we met, engaged at 18, married at 19 and now celebrating 5 happy years! My husband was laid off 4 months before our wedding and I was full time in dental hygiene school.  As long as you have a financial plan and are willing to work hard, you should be fine!  Don’t let people tell you that you’re too young or not finacially stable. That being said,  Be smart about how you show your gratitude and set your priorities straight.  Things will work out as long as you have the same common goal, which is loving each other, not material things. Don’t compare your happiness to what is on your finger. 

Best of luck to you!

Post # 39
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Some people are old enough to get married at 20. From what you’ve written here, you are not one of them.

Post # 40
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

I think the reason the bees here are giving you advice is because they have life experience, myself included.  My advice is not to rush into anything.  At 18 and 20, in all honesty, you don’t even fully know YOURSELVES yet, let alone each other.  This is especially true since you’ve  only been together for 6 months.  I too was engaged at a very young age (19) and had only been with my bf at the time for 8 months.  It crashed and burned about 6 months later once we both got into the real world and realized it was puppy love and not long term.  Thank god we realized that before planning the wedding, but at the time we got engaged did I think I totally wanted to marry this man (boy)? You bet I thought I did, and NOBODY could have convinced me otherwise.  But I soon found out I was wrong, as I was living in a high school relationship mentality.  This is a life changing decision, please don’t be hasty and do something just because you have friends that are doing it.  

Post # 41
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

jessiquh :  that’s a completely reasonable budget for a ring. It’s a bit of metal to go around your finger, really. There are 1280 items listed under “diamond ring” in the $0-$250 range on ice.com and if you shop secondhand on eBay, Etsy, or even your local classifieds you will get even more for you money.

Post # 42
Member
887 posts
Busy bee

AGE might not matter, but maturity does and you are definitely WAY too immature to be getting married anytime soon

Post # 43
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you want a pretty bauble for your finger, buy it yourself. Don’t get married just for a ring…..

Seriously you are 20 and what’s even more worrisome, he is freaking 18 and you’ve been together for six months!  The odds are honestly stacked against you two getting married so young. Get a job, a house and some life experience behind you before you commit to a life with someone. You will be a better human for it.

As for your Walmart comment…. real adults who have had to manage a budget and pay bills don’t turn up noses at living within their means or judge others for buying something they like and and  can afford.

 

Post # 44
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2018

The richer or poorer part of the vows is there for a reason. Marry the man, not the ring. I think he’s actually being very reasonable telling you it’s outside his means. If you think it’s reasonable, and within means, you pay for it. After all, once you are married it’s likely all joint money, right? Men mature so much later than women. At 18, playing house might sound cute, 5/10 years down he track when his friends are enjoying being young and unmarried, being tied down at 18 might not be so appealing. How do I know? Seen it plenty of times with my own eyes. At 18 almost wanted to be part of it myself. Half of all marriages end in divorce, a great many of them with more secure foundations than yours seems to have. Sounds harsh, but you wanted an opinion. If he was 25 and splashing $500 a weekend on booze with his mates, I’d say the reluctance for the ring you want might be that he doesn’t really want to marry you. That is likely not the case here, hes just not caving in to your pressure for something outside his budget. Move in together, buy a promise ring, it’s not a race to the alter. If you plan to spend a lifetime together, a two year wait is nothing. At six months you barely know each other, at 20 you don’t even know yourself. 

Post # 45
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

As someone that met my first husband at 19 (he was 21) dated for 4 years and got married at 23 and 25, and divorced a year later WAIT.  Do not rush this.  You grow SO MUCH in your early 20’s and while yes some people meet young, marry young, and stay married for 60+ years, it’s not that common and it’s HARD WORK.  Guys mature wayyyy slower than woman and at only 18 he is likely to change who he is 100 times before hes even 25.  Put aside the ring factor and really look at your situation.  Do not rush this. 

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