- 2 months ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Anon for this, but after almost 6 years of marriage and a baby, i feel like my husband is not my soulmate, and I think it took this crazy quarantine to finally realize it.
D.H. and I have almost 10+ years of dating on and off, plus marriage, and i always felt like something was missing. But i denied my gut instincts because i felt like i couldnt live without him. We’ve never truly have had the same interests in hobbies, i struggled in my early 20’s with a lot of things and D.H. was never the most supportive of people, but i kept letting him back into my life. I did a LOT of changing, got rid of friends, gave up interests, stayed in the same town when i could have moved. Supported his career promotions, which meant me leaving jobs i worked hard at. Because at one point i did truly love him. But D.H. has never given up or changed anything except a few ex gf he was friends with.
A few days ago, we got in a small argument over mothers day, and how he wanted to hang out with friends at night and insisted i come along, i was pissed, but relented. It was awful, i left early cause sitting on a couch watching wrestling is not how i pictured my day going, when i told him how i felt he didnt even care, he said “well i already know i aint getting anything for fathers day, so oh well.” and “im a dominant person, this is how ive always been, you just follow along..” I was beyond hurt that he literally only cares about getting what he wants, doing what he wants, etc.
i think its took this quarantine to really realize that we have nothing in common anymore, we never chit chat unless its about our kid, we dont have the same friends(as i have none), we dont share the same interests anymore, and he’s never been supportive of my dreams and goals (going back to college). Im numb to it all and really dont know how to fix things. I love my son more then anything, but i dont want to show my son later in life that mom was just a doormat and let D.H. do whatever he’s wanted in life, while i sit back and do nothing.
I just dont know where to go from here, financially i cant leave my husband as of right now during all this crazy economic times/covid, etc. Any bees been through this, what did you do, did you try and stick it out in hopes that it got better, did you leave. Any helpful words of encourgement, as today ive been in a really low place.