- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I am having a really tough time the past few weeks. I don’t know what I am looking for, maybe I just need to vent.
Back in August I was diagnosed with epilepsy. It has been a rough road of me accepting it and a lot of changes and precautions had to be made. My husband is in the military. When all this happened he wanted to make things as least stressful as possible.
Some things happened with his job and he did not pass the qualification that he needed. I blamed myself for it. He promises it wasn’t me and that he did not like doing that job. His command highly respects him and did not think there would be a problem finding another job at this base. They all have written outstanding recommendations for him. Well, the command thought they had more control than they really did.
My husband doesn’t want to make me move right now. I have a good support system here, my doctors are established and he is worried what the stress of moving would do. His command understands this and have tried all they can to find him something here but their hands are tied since nothing is available.
Fast forward to now. My husband is preparing for the worse case scenario of separating from the military. He has never worked a real civilian job since he joined when he was 18. I feel terrible. I feel like I’m ruining his life because he doesn’t want to move because of me. His command thinks he has so much potential and is an asset and I feel like they think it is all my fault.
I have gone into a feeling of depression where all I do is sleep when I get home from work. He says I am what matters and that he is putting me before his job. I believe him because that is the kind of man he is, but I feel so terrible. I hate that I am too unstable to just pick up and move right now.
I do have a counselor that knows what is going on. I just am not very good about explaining my feelings to her. I guess I just needed to vent. I’m sorry this is so long.