(Closed) Feel like where growing apart…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

5 languages of love. Read it. Seriously. My guy and I have different love languages and mine happenes to be quality time. Basically, if I can’t have quality time with my partner, I don’t feel loved because that is the action that makes me feel loved. The book explains that simply being in another’s presence doesn’t count as “quality time.” You have to interact, be engaging during that time.

Soudns like you guys speak different love languages. You know you love each other but you don’t feel that love coming from the actions they’re already performing. It happens. People slip into autopilot and start loving someone in the way they would want to be loved but since everyon is different those actions may not be perceived in the same way as the partner (ie. someone who buys gifts to show love may fail to realize that their spoiled partner doesn’t need all the gifts, they just want a hug or help with the house.)

Don’t worry. You’ll figure it out.

Post # 5
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

>>>> Everytime I go outside he is getting phone calls <<<

This stood out to me….do you feel like he is being sneaky about something?

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

Oh, I see…..

Make a date….a movie you want to see, a sporting event, a concert……you need to re-connect.

Seduce him, send him flirty texts. 🙂

These are normal ups and downs in marriage, the key is not letting it slip away. Take action.

Post # 8
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@claireos:  That is a great book!  I second this advice!

Post # 9
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Read men are from mars women are from venus, I read like the first 3 chapters only and it made me understand my fiance SOOOOOOOO much more, he might just need some space, a concept us women do not comprehend lol.

Post # 10
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@claireos:   Great book and great advice!!

Post # 11
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

maybe try taking up a new interest or hobby? make yourself really busy so you make HIM wonder about you and make more of an effort to connect hopefully.

Post # 13
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@dancingunderthestars:   Ok.  This sounds more like you have a problem with YOU instead of having a problem with him.

One thing I’ve heard about relationships is this:  If you only ever discuss problems, you will have a problem relationship.

Have you tried stepping out of your box a little?  You sound so unhappy and I’m sorry for that.  This is not to make you feel worse because I know you already feel bad.  But you need to seriously get a grip on your downward spiral.

Just take a small step.  One little thing to push your psyche into a more positive direction.  You don’t have to make major changes.  But ask yourself how is it to live with you?  Is it a pleasure and joy for him (and yourself) or a daily drudgery? 

This is your one chance at life.  Forget the past – it is dead and gone and over and will never, ever return.  Just DROP it.  Let it go.  Or it will continue to drag you down, is that what you want?

You can learn new ways of behaving.  Take a small step.  Do one small thing to make yourself happy, no matter what it is.  And share it with him.  Make yourself into a peaceful and happy person who will be someone he feels safe and comfortable with. 

Your relationship is worth it and your life is worth it.  You’re investing in YOU.  Become your own best friend.

Post # 14
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

>>>>> he said that I didn’t need him and asked me to sleep on the couch. So I did. I feel like I do nothing right EVER<<<<

Is this what he says or makes you feel?

The topic ‘Feel like where growing apart…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors