(Closed) Feel like you lost your friends the day he proposed?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh, I’m so sorry this has been your experience.  I’d be emotional too.  Its a shame that there are so many selfish people in this world.  The great thing is that 1. You have an amazing Fiance supporting you and 2. You do have true friends, just not in the area.  There are a lot of brides who can say even that much. 

Post # 19
Member
2739 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, and you are in your 30’s? Call me a bit of an ageist but I expect more from people the older they grow. Although, come to think of it, we usually have 3-5 really close friends and everyone else is just an acquaintance… yes, even you the lady I to lunch with two or three times a week at work, we are not the closest of friends. I am so sorry you are hurt, I would have come for your shower just to have fun if you lived in the NYC area. But your Fiance is right, you can depend on each other and you will surely have friends who deserve you. It’s not the amount, it’s the quality. There are friends around the corner. I do understand, as a guy, he’s not taking it to heart but for me, I’d be so bummed 🙁

Post # 20
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i’m 21, have been married for almost a month and geez, some days it seems like our “friends” are terrified of us, like marriage is a plague or something! We don’t mind, obviously there is a reason they aren’t sticking around, and we totally understand that they just want different things in life. They like frat parties, we’ve never been the huge partying type. It sucks that this brought out the end of a few friendships, but then again that’s why we married our best friends and not just someone we get along with!

Post # 21
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It really troubles me that people who are supposed to be good friends can’t put aside their own baggage to be genuinely happy for a friend when she experiences joy in her life. Luckily, I’ve only had one friend behave like this since I got engaged, but it was still a major disappointment. It seems like all she wants to do is complain that I’m getting married while she and her boyfriend of five years are not. I try to be sympathetic and I understand why she’s stressed, but on the other hand, a little celebration of my happiness would be nice.

A few years ago, Fiance and I were going through a rough spot. It coincided with my dear friend’s wedding and I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. During the wedding, I felt kind of sad thinking that Fiance and I were nowhere near ready to be married. BUT, I put on my big girl pants, put a smile on my face, supported my dear friend, and let myself feel truly happy for her and her husband. I’m not trying to say I’m the perfect friend here, but I think this is just what friends do for each other. Sure, we may experience pangs of sadness or regret when we don’t have what we want in life, but we should never begrudge our friends’ happiness and we should genuinely be happy when things work out for them.

Post # 22
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry. It’s so unfortunate that it’s hard for some people to be happy for others. I have had very similar issues with my ‘friends’, although I had attempted to “justify” it with saying it’s a mid 20’s jealousy thing, so to hear it’s just as bad in your 30’s is so disheartening! Thank goodness for sweet and supportive FI’s! 

Post # 23
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had something similar happening to me.  Not much to the point of them saying these things, but people just distancing themselves, and not inviting me to things anymore (I find out later through FB pictures).  I’m coupled, so therefore why would I want to hang out with a bunch of single people?  But they’re my friends, and I don’t care if they’re single, and I don’t have to bring my Fiance to everything they invite me to!  Frustrating…

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