Post # 1
I just really needed someone to talk to. I’m getting married in six weeks and this whole time I feel like I have been planning this wedding alone. My Fiance has been focusing on work so much and anytime I ask him about anything wedding related he just does not seem interested. When I get very upset he tries to come to appointments with me but if I ask for more from him he just shuts me out and that in turn just upsets me more. I have to do everything by myself even to the point where I have to keep reminding him to get his groomsmen outfits and he keeps forgetting to get it done and I have to keep reminding him to send pictures of our wedding rings to his client (who is a jeweller) so that the rings can be made in time but he keeps forgeting to do that as well. Every time he doesnt do something I just take it upon myself to do it and I just feel so stressed and alone. I sometimes feel bad to force him because I know he works a lot but at the same time I feel resentful because this is supposed to be our wedding and he didnt hire me as a wedding planner. I want my wedding to be perfect but I feel like I can’t do it alone and I am just emotional all the time is there anyone else who is experiencing the same thing? I feel so much resentment to my fiance now that all I do is fight with him and I dont want to start our married life like this. Before all of this began we were so happy, I don’t know what happened and whether will be able to go back after all of this.
Post # 2
My fiancé has not been interested in giving His opinions or what I see as helping either so far. He keeps telling me I shouldn’t be so stressed so I told him if I didn’t feel like i had to make every decision along I would be less stressed. I think he wants it to be perfect like I do but is afraid to make a choice I don’t like and be shot down. I just wish some men would see that it’s two people getting married not just one who decides everything and does everything and groom just shows up!
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I’m so sorry you feel that way. Your vision of planning was to do it together. It’s not worth the resentment. He asked you to marry him and you said yes. Love is all that matters in the end. Sadness is by all means allowed.
I am having the opposite situation. When we first became engaged my Love told me we were having an “Arranged marriage”. I was to arrange it and he would arrange to be there. I planned our wedding in my head. Then he started asking questions. Now we are arranging our wedding together. Yet, the vision of what I planned still stays with me and I miss what would have been. Thankful he is helping just a little sad at times.
Post # 4
fallbride82: I know exactly how you feel.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - Garden
I felt the exact same way in the lead up to my wedding. A lot of bees said that I should be glad he was letting me make all of the decisions, which I will be honest, I didn’t find very comforting. I am still resentful of the stress I was put under and the wedding was almost a year ago.
The best advice I have for you is firstly, as much as we all want our wedding day to be perfect, chances are not everything will go according to plan. You won’t even care about that on the day because you’ll be so excited/nervous/every other emotion. So if you decide now that not every little detail matters as much as the big ones, it will take a lot of the stress away for you.
If you find it too overwhelming, ask yourself if the final last minute details really matter as much as they seem to. If you can ease the burden for yourself, things will seem a lot less scary.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
fallbride82: I think you should talk to him about this. It worries me that he is basically not interested in the fact that you are upset by the situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s planning a wedding or anything else that comes up in your future marriage: communication and an openness to coming out of your comfort zone if it helps your partner are both essential to a happy marriage.
I’d ask him — not when you’re upset– if he’d be willing to sit down with you and talk about it all: what still needs to be done and how you can get finished with all the rest of it without feeling sad and shut out. Maybe once he sees that some of it is just a matter of making a final decision and then checking off a To Do item, he’ll realize it isn’t going to take loads of his time.
Thing is, if he’s not moved by seeing you upset, or if he won’t sit down with you and talk… I would be a bit hesitant about signing up to be with him for the rest of your life.
Post # 7
I think this is right. It’s normal for guys not to take a big interest in wedding details, but not to ignore your upset.
Post # 8
My Fiancé says he isn’t interested in the wedding planning also. But our problem is that anytime I have an idea of something I like and he shoots it down…. very frustrating. …..Men…..*sigh* I hope it all works out for you, just keep trying to talk to him!
Post # 9
angyjaxon: that’s exactly what my fiance is doing, I’m sorry I know how you feel. I miss the idea of the wedding I had too.