Post # 17
I’m so overwhelmed by your comforting responses. I’m so, SO glad I’m not alone. I’m officially cutting costs every way possible (no real flowers, DIYing EVERYTHING.) I’m really happy to save where I can, but I feel like it doesn’t make a dent in how much my parents are spending on the venue.
@ceebree: Your photos are beautiful.
Wow. I couldn’t imagine spending 70k on a wedding! I went to a black tie wedding a couple years back that I’m sure was close because of the locations. (Though to be honest with you, everything was expensive, but it wasn’t anything super special. Just big and expensive. I like to see some personality in weddings!)
Exactly the boat I’m in. We’ve given $1000 to the venue, $1200 to the photog, $300 to the dj and so on. It just, agh. I wish I could rewind and start over.
Ahh, *hugs* back. I needed a hug. Even a virtual hug. It helped 🙂
That’s a really positive attitude. We have around 200 people on a guestlist, and most of them are SO excited for the wedding. When they received STDs and shower invites, they respond with “Oh my gosh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!!” I just keep telling myself its for them
not for me. (And you should totally go for the ipad playlist. So long as you can manage speeches and whatnot, you’re golden!)
yes yes yes. Fiance and I were talking about it last night too. Cue breakdown #1234523465. Why is this industry so miserable?
Definitely skimping on the decor now. lol. Our flowers are DIY (made from old hankies, clothing from thrift stores, cotton balls, etc.) The rest is being handmade by Fiance and I from tree bark 🙂
Post # 18
@ThatOneGirl9613: I wish I could have your attitude! I’m such a giver. I give to literally EVERY charity that asks. Even if I only have a dollar! I recently raised $400 for an orphanage in Kenya called Hekima Place. I wish more than anything I could take that 20k and give it to them. At the end of the day, I’ll have my husband. I’d be happy!
Oh gosh. That’s awful! “Spend it however you like.. but you have to have x and y, but forget z!” lol. And that’s just it though. I’m so grateful my parents want to buy this for me, but I just feel so guilty taking it.
Post # 19
@OnceUponATime: As long as it’s well within their means and they’re enjoying it, I think we just have to get over it. It seems like SO much money to me, but to my parents it’s really not and it’s making them so happy, so I just try not to dwell 🙂
Post # 20
@RunnerBride13: Well, I wouldn’t say it’s “within their means.” They’re totally pulling for their savings. My mom has been quoted as saying, I’m never going to retire.” (She’s a small business owner. She does bookkeeping and payroll services so she has no retirement benefits like traditional careers.)
P.S. As a runner, you can relate. How bad does this suck: yesterday I was trying to move a lounge chair. I caught the leg on my toe and ripped off half my toe nail. I was about to buy new shoes and starting training for my first half…. It’s going to be weeks before I can run again. So angry and upset.
Post # 21
I have had similar feelings. I don’t feel too guilty about the OVERALL cost (because we are only spend $10k with parent’s assitance), but I just hate each individual detail. I hate looking at prices for things and getting stressed about how much money each thing is. Really I’m just getting so sick of the details I am just not even that excited about the wedding itself. Marriage, definitely, but the wedding…it’s so meh.
Post # 22
@OnceUponATime: ((Hugs)) Honey I totally understand. This is FI’s first wedding/marriage, and he wanted the traditional ceremony and reception. However, the biggest expenses are mine! He’s so sweet about it and honestly doesn’t care, but I feel so guilty. Luckily, my parents have gifted us some funds to use, so we’ll be able to pay off all wedding costs within months of the event.
Fiance tells me to look at it this way…he knows we’re not being extravagant and that I’m doing a great job considering how expensive anything wedding-related can be. Also, he knows how much our guests are going to enjoy the good food and ambiance we are creating for the reception. Most especially, he reminds me that we’re worth it, that all of the memories and pictures will be worth it.
Post # 23
@OnceUponATime: It sounds like the amount your parents are spending on the venue was their choice. If so, then there’s nothing you can do but sit back and enjoy the wedding!
Post # 24
@OnceUponATime: Awww, can you talk them into spending a little less? That sucks about your toenail but those things actually heal much faster than you’d think!! I’ve been dealing with a hip injury since March of 2012, so I definitely understand the frustration!!
Post # 25
@OnceUponATime: I don’t feel guilty, mainly because we are paying for our wedding ourselves and we did not spend more than our small budget.
Post # 26
I felt guilty the whole process. My parents spent around 12k which is average around here, if not a couple thousand less but I felt so guilty. and like we were wasting money. Now that’s its over though i don’t regret anything!!
Post # 27
my mom is paying and wants a lavish, elegant affair. she doesn’t like that i am trying to save money.
it is just one day. i’d rather her spend the money on other things.
nothing i can do about it.
Post # 28
Tell me about it, I know exactly how you feel!
I accidentally found out the cost of my engagement ring on the weekend. OMG!!
We’re having a small wedding of around 25-30 people and we’re paying for out of our chequing account. Even though it’s a small wedding it just feels like costs keep piling up and we’re getting nickel and dimed for everything possible. I got a quote for invitations that was $750… for 15 of them!! My parents offered to pay for my dress so I picked one that was pretty inexpensive because they also paid for my first wedding dress and that was ridiculousl expensive. For one day, not worth it to me!
Post # 29
I feel terrible about it too, with 59 days to go for me there’s not much that can be done!
Post # 30
Oh, I feel you.
Fiance wanted a big wedding, and I sort of wanted to elope. Because I wasn’t so positive on what I wanted to do and he was, (after much… debate) I compromised and we’re having a big wedding.
I hate how much it costs, but I’ve made the choice to ignore that – “It’s only money” as my grandfather would say. We’re paying for it ourselves, and while we have the money for it now, sometimes I still want to throw a good old-fashioned tantrum over spending all of that cash (but I don’t, sigh)
In order to make myself feel better and save some money, I am making: the invitations (well, I’m making anything on paper), the decorations (mostly candles, no flowers for you), the bouquet and bout flowers (origami, made ahead of time, very low cost), and our guestbook. Some other things but I forget. I’m planning on doing my own makeup, and my dress cost less than $200… I’m sewing a long skirt to go on top because I want it (and I want that to be inexpensive).
Alternatively, because we are spending so much money we are also having “who cares, let’s just do it” splurges. Fire pit at the end of the night for Fiance, floating lanterns for me (because I got jealous of the fire pit), and a photobooth (as a treat for pushing our original date back). Comparatively, it doesn’t add up to much, but it does make us happy to look forward to these things, so it’s worth it.
When I get too stressed out about wedding stuff, I usually turn on some music and do some crazy stupid dancing. But that’s just me. 😛
Post # 31
@orchidaloha: My jaw literally just dropped. Please tell me those invitations are lined with 14k gold leaf and come with a sterling silver ring! Yowza!!