(Closed) Feel so let down and disappointed…what should I do?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I do not mean to be insensitive, but….

I don’t see anthing wrong with having your Fiance call you to say he is in and safe for the night, and I don’t see anything wrong with you contacing him to check in if oyu have not heard from him at a designated time. My family does this all the time (especialy when travelling to other places). That your Fiance sees this as an “issue” and did not call to check in when he was supposed to makes me irritated for you (especially since you agreed not to contact him).

I don’t think a simple “Haven”t heard from you in a while, hope all is well” text would ruin his weekend, and if it does, that’s the real issue here, IMO

Post # 4
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sure he’s fine.  I know you’re anxious, but try not to worry too much.  I’m sure he’s just busy with his friends.  He will probably call you soon.

I wouldn’t complain to him about it now, especially not when you’re upset.  Wait until he’s home and explain to him your feelings about it.

Post # 6
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

@Anxiousbee83:  That was very insensitive of him not to let you know he was ok, especially with your emotional issues and how hard him goingi away in the first place will have affected you.

Can you text him saying you’re glad he’s having a good time, but could he possibly set a reminder on his phone to text you later this evening? Chances are he’ll be too drunk to remember on his own, but a reminder could help – especially if he sets it on loud!

Hope you’re okay *hugs*

Post # 8
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

Oh bless you! I suffer from anxiety but I’ve got control of it now and I’ve been really good for the past 3 years! So I know how hard it is, but I know you can overcome it and you’ll be so proud of yourself.

Its good that dont want to remind him- it shows strength! 🙂 xxx

Post # 9
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Call your therapist if you can.  I have panic and anxiety issues, although much milder now–they used to be as bad as yours.  I would flip out when the phone rang, convinced that someone had died and I’d cry on my bed and not answer because I was afraid of the possibility (this was before cell phones and texting).

So far you have done nothing wrong.  He did not contact you at all, you said hi, he replied and you now know that he’s ok.  You have no reason to be mad at yourself–you’ve shown considerable restraint and calm.  You’re not expected to be perfect–even I would have broken down long before you did to check in on him.

My best defense against this sort of thing is to find something to engross yourself in.  Find a really good TV series to watch through on Netflix, call a friend and go shopping, re-read the Harry Potter, Wheel of Time, Song of Ice and Fire–hell, if you liked that Twilight drivel read that.  Find something that you had trouble putting down when you picked it up and just let yourself get lost in it.  Forget your other obligations, just get your brain to focus on something else.  Avoid things that let you wallow in your mind.

Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Anxiousbee83:  For me the hardest part was learning how to tell my brain to shut up.  I mean, it’s been years since I was having regular panic attacks (I have one or two every one or two years which is manageable) and I still have to fight my mind all the time.  No, stop thinking about that.  No, stop thinking about that.  No, stop fucking thinking about that!  Just like with anything, it’s easier with practice and soon enough you’ll feel a lot more “normal”.  You will *always* have to deal with this but it gets better if you stick with it. <3

Post # 13
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just wanted to say… You Go Girl!  It seems like you’re doing a great job of keeping as calm as possible, and when he gets back safe and sound, maybe you can look back on this weekend for next time.  Remind yourself that everything turned out ok, even though you didn’t hear from him.  In the mean time, keep yourself busy and enjoy some you time if you’ve got it.  Maybe go get a mani/pedi or go to a movie.

 

Post # 14
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I want to say that you are amazing! I also have anxiety. I am proud of you for letting him go away for the weekend and have his fun. I don’t do well when Fiance is away and try my hardest for that not to happen often. I get most anxiety at night while trying to sleep, and when he’s not next to me it’s tons worse. I don’t think you saying hi is a failure. Don’t be so hard on your self! 🙂 You’re doing great!

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