(Closed) Feel so let down and disappointed…what should I do?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee

Well done! Remember, if he can get through last night he’ll get through today!

Im glad he realised he made a mistake. Hopefully he’ll check in with you lots today.

Do you have any plans for today? Keep busy! We’ll be here for you 🙂 x

Post # 35
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Anxiousbee83:  I’m glad that he contacted you and you’re feeling a bit better.

This is coming from someone who suffers from panic attacks and anxiety, so please understand that I’m coming from a place where I get it (where you’re coming from), etc:

You need to understand how much of an effect your anxiety has on your Fiance.  You say/said that he has been extremely supportive and understanding.  That’s great! Yes, he should have contacted you, but can you understand why he wouldn’t?  Perhaps he was having a great time and just forgot?  Perhaps he wasn’t alone at all during the day?  Perhaps the guys were giving him a difficult time about contacting you during *their* weekend. Anxiety is about loss of control.  You feel like if you are with your Fiance, he won’t get hurt because you’re there.   His friends added a fun activity to their weekend and you’re gutted because of your expectations of him being home.  Even though it’s irrational, you have to understand that you’re trying to control him and TRY to give him a break when he tries to be normal. I know that’s hard.  

I used to have thoughts like this…allbeit when I was a lot younger.  I had a difficult time at sleepover camp, for example, because I was convinced that my parents would die if I weren’t there to watch them.  I thought my dog would die.  Thankfully, I grew out of that kind of anxiety, but I managed to just move on to something else.  After I have a panic attack or a particularly bad bought of anxiety, I just look at my DH.  He’s exhausted having to deal with me.  I am so thankful that he’s stuck this out with me and has completely supported me.  Things have become much much better, but I will always remember that my mental health took a massive toll on him.  None of us exist in a vacuum.

Anyway…I just wanted to say the above because I would hate for your Fiance to come home and you loose it on him.  If he apologizes and feels bad, talk about it.  But please try to look at this from his point of view as well.  This weekend has been difficult for him (knowing you’re at home freaking out, trying to balance his need for his friends and fun and you…etc) too.  

 

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