- 10 years ago
- Wedding: May 2009
Alright, so I’ve never been one to have some great fairy tale vision of what marriage is like. My dad’s on his second marriage, my mom’s on her third. I’m not naive. But I feel like lately I’m seeing so many things that make me feel even more discouraged about it.
It’s come out recently that two different marriages of very prominent members of my mom’s church have been torn apart by affairs. One man left his wife of 20+ years and is now living with the other woman. Another woman had an affair for years, but they’re somehow toughing this out and trying to keep the marriage together.
My manager at my new store used to work at one I also used to work at, tho at different times. And I know, tho I don’t think he realizes I know, that the woman he is now married to was the wife of one of my friends at the old store. She had an affair with the current manager, left my friend, and married this guy. (That situation is SO awkward because he’s actually a really good manager but I hate knowing this about him!)
At least 2 bee bloggers have broken off their engagements fairly recently, one for an affair, one because he said he’d probably wind up having an affair because he wasn’t really in love with her anymore.
I had a conversation with a coworker the other day in which he basically said everyone cheats. I disagree, but he admits he’s never *not* cheated on a woman he dated.
It’s just really disheartening. I’m not feeling so much disillusioned with marriage, as humanity. It just seems insane sometimes. I try to remind myself that if 50% of marriages end in divorce, doesn’t that mean that 50% are successful? Glass half full and all. But humans kind of suck sometimes, and I really wish I weren’t running into *so* many examples so close to the wedding. I want my fairy tale!
And of course it doesn’t help any that I moved home till the wedding and my mom and stepdad are fighting a lot more than usual. Nothing to actually worry about, but as a child of divorced parents, fighting parents stresses me out no matter how irrational it is. But my mom says it’s good for me to see some conflict resolution in action. ^_^
(oh, and note- I seriously don’t have a naive view of marriage as being easy, I’ve been doing a lot of reading/talking on things we can both do to stay focused on the fact that May 23 is about our *marriage* not just the wedding. I just really wish I could be naive just for a little while, and the world won’t let me!)