(Closed) feeling a bit flat about my wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I can totally relate.  I feel incredibly lonely too.  Is it too late to cancel stuff or at least downgrade?  Or maybe you will feel better if you run off with your FH and just have the other stuff still to do as post-wedding fun times?  That might take some of the pressure off, anyway.

Post # 4
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can relate to that.  There is absolutely no “hoopla” surrounding our wedding.  At first this depressed me because doesn’t everyone have this Disney-princess-happiness engagement with everyone so estatic and supportive all the time?!  I live 3000 miles away from both my parents, so they obviously can’t be there physically to help me pick stuff out.  We chose not to have a bridal party for many reasons, so I don’t have “support” in that way (which, I’m sincerely fine with), and we also will not be having any pre-wedding parties (showers, bachelorette parties, “hen nights”, etc.).  

No different than the actual wedding day itself, I think girls fanticize about what your engagement will be like, what your pre-wedding parties will be like, and expect warm-n-fuzzy sentimental things from all your family and friends.  And what happens when we set expectations in life? Life LAUGHS at you and promptly puts you in your place.

It took a minute, but eventually I embraced the underwhelming nature of our wedding journey… and honestly, it feels more like *us*.  I know that while other people are happy for us, no one will ever feel the way we feel about our wedding. Therefore, rather than trying to impose any expectations of others’ involvement, we have enjoyed doing everything by ourselves and keeping things between us.

Post # 6
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have a similar problem. I actually have 5 bridesmaids, my mom lives 3 miles away, and my future Mother-In-Law lives 2 miles away… but i receive very little help. We’re skipping the pre-wedding parties. My sister (maid of honor) is little miss busy. She’s helping me by making the place settings and that’s IT. My mom and Mother-In-Law found pictures for the slideshow. Aside from that, I haven’t received help from anyone, even those who offered to help. 

This hasn’t unsettled me too much since I’m used to ding everything by myself anyway. But, jeez! I was really looking forward to my sister helping me since it’s traditional for the Maid/Matron of Honor to help with a majority of the planning. She’s A LOT better than me at this kind of thing.

Anyway, I’m 2 weeks away from the wedding, and I’m typing up all the loose ends now. I shuold be absolutely done with everything a week before the wedding. The stress has started to die down for me, and my feelings of inadquecy and inability are going away.

Now I’m just looking forward to the big day. Like you, I had my doubts about WHY I was even doing a wedding. Bewteen the money my family and I have put into it, we’re spending about $10k on it all. But we’re going to have almost $0 left over for our honeymoon. One of the things we decided when we got engaged is that we wanted a LARGE wedding so we could invite everyone we know, regardless of the cheap routes we had to take to make it happen. We wanted it to be the party of our lives. But, when I started seeing the figures, I thought I messed up… Why the HECK are we spending $10k on a wedding with no honeymoon? We should’ve cut our guest list in half, spent $5k on the wedding and $5k on the honeymoon. I was seriously starting to doubt our decision.

But the more things come together, and the closer we get to the date, the more I realize that this large wedding is going to be the greatest party I will ever throw in my entire life. Nothing else will even come close. So if we have to wait til our anniversary to take our honeymoon, that’s OK. Because nothing will compare to that day… and really, all that matters is that the two of us are there having the time of our lives! 

Post # 7
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I can also relate… I guess I had unrealistic expectations of my friends and family involvement in the wedding planning. Another poster wrote something about how the wedding only really matters to the two people getting married — as much as I wanted to disagree, at the end I must admit – they were right.

I guess thats why we have weddingbee — because we care about our weddings, but we also care about yours too.

Post # 9
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@samilou77:  Totally. i felt like I was the only one who left like this!

Post # 10
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@LiveSimply1:  Such a good point. Why did I think people would care that much?! Frown

The topic ‘feeling a bit flat about my wedding.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors