(Closed) Feeling a bit jealous… confession and vent post I guess

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3042 posts
Sugar bee

@Bookmarks:  oh boy. You are going to have a rough life if you spend so much time comparing yourself to others. The ring is a symbol and the size of the stone is not a reflection of your fiance’s feelings for you. Maybe you can upgrade in a few years?

as for the stealing of colors, you’ve learned a good lesson- keep your wedding plans and baby names to yourself!

Post # 5
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Mine cost less than that(not a diamond) and it’s all I ever wanted! What is important is how your guy treats you and makes you feel. It could be you in 10 years with the strongest marriage out of your friends and family while they have all got divorces. Ring cost/size is irrelevant.

Post # 6
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You are probably not being treated as though your relationship is less significant because you haven’t been together as long, you’re being treated like it’s less significant because you are so young.  I know that it sucks, but when you’re in your late teens and talking about being sure that this is the one person you want forever you come off as naive.  The truth is that you don’t even know who you are yet.  Yes, you guys could go through the self-discovery together, or you might not.  From your perspective right now you think I’m outrageous for saying this, but I speak from experience.  I got engaged for the first time at 18 to a 21 year old, and if only I could go back and smack myself.  Young marriages don’t have the best stats backing them up, and there’s a reason for that.     

Post # 9
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Bookmarks:  Well, of course you don’t want them to get divorced, but my point being that the relationship is the important thing, not the jewelry. 

Post # 10
Member
3724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“You are probably not being treated as though your relationship is less significant because you haven’t been together as long, you’re being treated like it’s less significant because you are so young.”

Or from your past posts, it may be because you’re five years older than he is (26 and 21) and you had only been together for six months. They may have legitimate concerns about your relationship.

You can’t live your life comparing yourself to others. I sincerely doubt that your cousin chose her wedding colors in order to show you up.

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
3754 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow. Ummm just because they were together 6 years doesn’t mean it “took their guy 6 years to figure out they wanted to marry them.” That’s a little rude :-/ I don’t understand why the size of the ring matters. Why not just upgrade when you can afford it? This whole post comes off as a little immature…

Post # 13
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was sympathetic until this line:

“look dont b mad b/c my man knew he wanted to marry me and it took your men forever to decide he wanted to marry you.”
 
I doubt they are jealous in any way, shape or form of your relationship because they themselves are all happy engaged or married. However, if this is what you think about their relationships I can she how you might have a hard time hiding your true feelings which might turn your cousins off of you far faster than any imaginary jealousy. 

Post # 14
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

size doesnt matter. Its his heart. Yes, its hard not to compare. everyone gets jealous. Cmon hes 21 and he got you the best he could. Give him a break!

Post # 16
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cmbr:  Yep, I think that’s it.  I was assuming that because her fiance was 21 she was 18-21 herself.  I can’t lie, if my 26 year old daughter told me that her 21 year old boyfriend proposed and that they were getting married after 6 months to a year I would have huge concerns, and it wouldn’t surprise me if other people didn’t take that relationship very seriously.  I actually think that’s an even tougher situation than two 18-22 year old kids getting married.  

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