(Closed) Feeling a bit of guilt..

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@alheur:  You need to let it go. It happened but if he is over it then you should be too. You are happily engaged be excited about that. (:

Post # 4
Member
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alheur:    Aww, hugs!  I don’t think what you said was that bad.  Does it bother him that you said that?  He probably took it in the funny way you meant it.  If you have a good relationship with a lot of humor involved, like my husband and I do, he is probably fine with it.

When my (now) husband proposed, after I said, “Yes!” I also said, “Is this the real  proposal?” And I laughed and he laughed.  It was the “real” proposal that time because he gave me the ring then. 

Prior to that, though, he had probably asked me to marry him about five times, lol.  Usually in some roundabout way like, “Hey, baby, how do you like the sound of (my first name, his last name)?”  Or, “Sweetheart, have you ever been married on beach?”  I would ask, “Is this is a proposal?”  And he would say, “No, this isn’t the real one, not until I get you the ring.”  Luckily for me he only teased me like this for a few weeks before popping the question “officially.”

Post # 5
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel we are taught to make a huge deal out of the engagement & have remorse if its not magical. I say focus on your relationship & marriage. Be sad… That’s ok. Just know its gonna be ok. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Aw! i can totally get why you’re feeling a little guilty but I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m sure he loves silly drunk you very much and it honestly adds a little bit of a story to the engagement. At first I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t surprised by my engagement, but as I’ve told the story over and over I think it’s cute and very us. I’m sure this will be the same. And he isn’t letting it bug him. So laugh it off. And congratulations on being engaged!

Post # 7
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

When my Fiance proposed the first thing I said was “hurry up already, I have to pee” or something like that (his own fault though because he wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom when we first got home)

how romantic!

Post # 8
Member
5955 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Not an ideal response, but if he’s not upset about it, you shouldn’t beat yourself up.

Maybe if you want to “make up for it” you could plan someting cute for him.  For example, you could plan a special date for him on your upcoming “engagiversary” and during that date tell him about how special the engagement was to you and how happy he makes you or something.  

Post # 10
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I accidently told my Fiance I hated him (in a joking way) but still not a good way to reply to a proposal.  Move on, it makes a cute story because it’s unique ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1511 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@alheur:  Don’t worry about it so much!  When my fiance proposed, the first words out of my mouth were, “Is this for real?!?!?”  He still teases me (though this was only about a month ago) because I didn’t even really say, “Yes!”  Haha.

I also didn’t cry, and I’m usually a very emotional person (think sobbing hysterically in my car because I’m listening to a sad song).

There’s no right or wrong way to accept a proposal, though.  I would try to just let it go … Unless he’s mentioned that he was hurt in some way by your words, he’s most likely not thinking about it at all.

Post # 12
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

my Fiance had a nice romantic proposal planned but we got a huge snow storm and we were snowed in. so we ate at a local Chinese buffet that was super close to our house. he told me to look outside and I did when I turned around he was down on one knee. I was so nervous that I laughed and laughed…. hystericalmy. my nerves just got the best of me.

Post # 13
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It could have been the wine or maybe just your silly since of humor. My humor comes out anytime I think things are a bit to serious, even during wedding vows. When our officiant asked if I accept my husband I looked at him up and down, nodded and said “Yeah, I’ll take ’em. Yes, yes I will”. Who the heck says something like that during wedding vows? Apparently,I do.!! There were a few more witty lines here and there and the reason I did it is to make my husband a bit more relaxed. I knew he was very emotional and I thought if I kept it light hearted it would make him more comfortable, it did.

Honestly you need to forgive yourself. Life happens and if we can’t be ourselves what’s the point of it?

Post # 14
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wasn’t expecting my proposal at all and the first words out of mouth were “No Way!”. Luckily I came to my senses quickly and said “I meant yes!”.

I let it go, so should you!

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