Post # 17
I just got a gift yesterday for my wedding which was almost 2 months ago. 🙂 Also received a card last week with some money in it. I think people are just forgetful/procrastinators. I haven’t sent a card/gift to my friend who got married a couple weeks ago. Whoops!
Although three out of five of DH’s groomsmen have not gotten us anything yet. That part is still puzzling to me.
Post # 18
WE had a few (and i mean like 2 out of a 100) not bring gifts.
So while we are on this topic…do I send them a Thank you card photo now? I wasnt going to….
Post # 19
Seriously, if a guest who makes 2-3x what I do didn’t give any gift/card/anything… I probably wouldn’t feel too moved to give them a check for their own wedding. Probably just a card. No one has to give you a gift, but it’s a two way street.
I probably won’t do thank you notes to people who come but don’t give a gift. Just seems unnecessary to me. I wouldn’t write thank you notes for people just for coming to any other party I hosted.
Post # 20
I can’t believe people dont’ bring gifts. IT just peeves me.
Ya know what? now you don’t have to bring them one!
Post # 21
I wouldnt bring them one
Wait I need to clarify that….Someone came to my wedding and didnt bring a gift…when and if they ever get married I will not be bringing one to theirs. 🙂
Post # 22
I doubt this is the case here … but sometimes people’s cash flows just aren’t there. I went to 5 weddings last summer, and I only made 25k a year and lived on my own. I would have loved to gift my friends more than I did, but in most cases I just couldn’t afford, so I did what I could afford.
My BFF and Maid/Matron of Honor got married in May and it was in another province. I let her know beforehand I wouldn’t be able to get them something quite yet. I was only able to afford something last week, so that is when they got their gift … 3 months after the wedding.
Post # 23
I know that people sometimes have a lot of weddings in one summer. I do get that, of course! I just wish they had said something to me, so I didn’t have to be left wondering why they didn’t give me anything, or even if they did try to give us a card but it got lost somehow.
One of the people who is the most shocking to me is a girl who is one of my oldest and closest friends. She and I got engaged at the same time, but her wedding isn’t until next year. She and her fiance combined make about $400,000 a year. My fiance and I make about $50,000 total. I don’t feel like I can go to her wedding and not get her a gift! I love her and her fiance, and I would never go to their wedding without bringing something. So I can’t really just bring a card and nothing else, to get her back or whatever. I would never do that! Plus I will have to fly to attend her wedding, which was not the case for her. So it makes it even more confusing that she and her fiance didn’t get us a thing. I can’t help but feel hurt! Ugh. Thanks for the chance to vent about this though. You are all so nice and understanding!
Post # 24
I would definitely be bugged. I don’t have much family, DH’s family isn’t very close to him, and we’re young (along with our almost all single friends), so I really didn’t expect much, but was surprised at how much we got. Almost none of our Bridal Party members got us something, but I expected that-they’re all around college age and some travelled far, others’ parents came and they just kind of tagged on for a family gift, etc. But considering the gen Y issues we had with people just downright refusing to RSVP, I was shocked at how many sent us gifts.
Thinking back, I am frustrated when I think of the one or 2 friends who didn’t do so much as a card. But, like eeh, that may be because my mother would be so ashamed if I went to a wedding empty handed 🙂
Post # 25
Ppl can have up to an year afterwards to send gifts. It’s a stupid rule but what can we do? I got some gifts 6 months post my wedding. If some of your guests are bachelors, they’re prime candidates for not getting gifts because they’re men who have no etiquette brains. If their dates are not too close to you, their dates probably wouldn’t have played any part to getting a gift for you either. 🙁
Post # 26
While it’s rude that they didn’t bring something, it’s also rude for you to expect them to bring something. I think it’s rude to pick apart people’s finances and expect a person to give you something because of what you think their salary is. Even if they make $400k or whatever, you don’t know what their situation is. Maybe they bought off the registry and you’ll get it soon, maybe they are up to their neck in debt, maybe they planned to get it later since they “have time.” Just be thankful for the gifts that you did receive.
Post # 27
It’s still rude to not give a flippin’ card. It really is the thought that counts here, and they could have bothered.
That said, you’re quite sure there’s no chance your card box/whatever wasn’t infiltrated by sticky fingers along the line? No offence meant, but I’ve read of it happening…
Post # 28
Yeah I totally agree that this is a matter of our generation and lack of etiquette! I have so many people calling me asking if they can bring so and so and so and so…not RSVPing AT ALL, etc etc. I think it’s weird too but honestly I think it’s just laziness and/or ignorance. People just don’t follow etiquette as much as they used to.
Post # 29
I am sooooo glad to hear it wasn’t just me! Out of 67 invites, we got 37 gifts. Most of the “missing” gifts were actually from family (none of his gave us a gift) or VERY close family friends who have known me for my entire life. I am actually really upset about it, even though I would rather not be. I understand that not everyone can afford a gift, but seriously, not even a card? Really? I would actually be fine if they at least gave us a card, but we didn’t even get that.
Post # 30
Its so nice to know that we aren’t the only ones. My HB and I didn’t get gifts or cards from about 12 of his bachelor friends who came. They are all well-to-do, but I think it was just an ignorance thing.
I was feeling pretty bummed about it until I read this post. Its not something I can bring up very easily to people… I feel totally greedy after such an amazing and beautiful wedding … but it was more a principle issue. I’m still wondering how many people bring gifts on average? Also, is it customary for the wedding party to bring gifts? Especially if the men didn’t have to buy anything to wear, got expensive gifts from my Father-In-Law, new ties, and 4 expensive dinners?
One of my BMs is close with one of the GMs who didn’t get us anything for the shower or the wedding, and she’s going to just “check in” with him about his gift, as a way to see if anything was stolen or if he just didn’t want to get us anything. I’m just curious what the thought process is and a little worried also that something might have been taken.
Post # 31
Agreed that it is mostly ignorance on the part of some people- I don’t excuse older people though. A card is the least someone can do- and I’ve found that a pretty piece of crystal doesn’t need to cost more than $50. For example, a beautiful crystal salad bowl will run less than $30, and a Cinderella carriage was about $40 last time I saw it at a well known department store. Aargh, even if it is something you do not care for, at least it shows some thought.