Post # 1
Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are far more well-off than my mom. They spent about $150 on me for Christmas. My mom bought Fiance a robe, some stocking stuffers, and put his name on a couple of my presents (like this awesome Babycakes pie maker!). I felt bad because his parents spent way more on me and got me some awesome gifts. I didn’t expect my mom to spend a ton on either of us, because she’s shelling out quite a bit of money for our wedding. But, it still made me feel bad.
Then, back in November, Fiance and I agreed on a $150 gift limit for Christmas. He was going to buy me $150 in clothes and I was going to buy him a $150 video game with the move system for PS3. I bought his game, he bought my clothes. Friday, I realized $200 of FI’s was missing, and he ended up having to tell me that he’d spent that money on a surprise gift for me. I felt so immensely guilty because I hadn’t bought him anything extra. Christmas Eve, he gave me my Pandora charm bracelet that I’ve been wanting since I was fifteen years old. I nearly cried because I was so shocked and surprised that he’d taken it upon himself to go to the jewelry store without me knowing and buy me the perfect surprise (my engagement ring was not a surprise to me, at all). Then, Christmas morning, he whips out a $75 Guess watch that I’d been eyeing for months. I was so happy, but also felt like complete sh*t at the same time!
I still feel bad today. He’s happy with all the things he got for Christmas. When I found out that he’d spent $200 on my bracelet, I let him go get a new move controller for the PS3 and a new game he wanted. I know he bought it with his own money, but normally I control how the money is spent and I won’t let him splurge. So, he’s really, really happy with that and the game I bought him. His sister bought him another game (lol), and his parents bought him a very nice fishing rod, among other things. He got some great new clothes. I just can’t help feeling like I should’ve done more for him =[
Post # 3
I kinda feel the same way. But let me just say WOW, what an amazing FI!! lol. PLUS, it sounds like he listens to you and pays attention to what you want! 🙂
Try not to feel bad. Im sure you do PLENTY for him throughout the entire year!! And he just wants to show his appreciation.
Fiance and I had a $100.00 limit. bc we (I) am paying for the wedding and He pays the bills (rent and cable) and we dont have a lot of extra cash flow. So I got him 2 PS3 games he wanted and a some little hunting things he wanted. I spent about $120. but, oh well. BUT – come christmas morning, I got a kitchenaid mixer, and a $100.00 GC to victorias secret from him. That mixer was WELL over the $120 i spent on him!! I felt SUPER bad!! But he had explained that it was bc he wanted to show his appreciation also for how hard I work and what I have been doing for the wedding, and everything I do for him (laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking)
SO – overall…. Dont feel bad. And maybe do something nice for him that you wouldnt normally do. Something that wont cost money. Or is cheap. Like make him a special dinner or “do” something special for him. It allll pans out evenly in the end. 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
We had a $50 limit. I spent $30, he spent $100. I do feel kind of bad, but he doesn’t really care about gifts anyways and had actually asked me not to get him anything.
Post # 5
It’s the thought that counts.
Post # 6
Hi – I am in the same boat. My Fiance surprised me with an unexpected gift, a Tiffany’s necklace, definitely over what he should have spent. Talk about feeling guilty…I cried (guilty tears, not happy tears) when he whipped out that signature Tiffany blue box xmas morning, as that amount of $$ wasn’t what we agreed to.
So I have convinced myself that to make it up to him, I’ll do something really really special for him on Valentines Day. 🙂
Post # 7
If you can get to a place where you are able to stop comparing $$$ spent, you will be a lot more comfortable.His parents have more money than your Mom. Of course they are able to spend more.
It was very sweet of him to buy you the bracelet, but not only did he ignore your agreement , his actions ended up costing the two of you $400-$500 over the budget you had set.
There is no reason for you to feel crappy because he spent more than you had previously agreed to spend.
@UrbanGem: I don’t understand why you are feeling guilty over something he did. He spent more than you agreed.
Post # 8
julies1949 – I feel bad because we agreed to only small gifts this year because we both plunked down a huge amount of money as downpayment on the house we are buying. Our house was our present to each other. His generous present was over the top of what we agreed to and that made me feel bad because, I just don’t like to recieve without being the bigger giver, I guess. 🙂
Post # 9
My husband always buys me better gifts-and I hardly ever get to surprise him. 🙁 But I have kind of resigned myself to it. He bought me a Kindle with a nice leather cover.
I am unemployed again, so I bought him socks, t-shirts, handkerchiefs, a watch (not an expensive one) and a leather wallet-but you know what he liked best: One of the t-shirts I bought him is a Pinky and the Brain one. crazy guy-who would have thunk it! It really is the thought. I wish I could buy him something outstanding, but he likes simple things. Buying him an awesome gift that actually surprises him is on my bucket list-but I don’t know if I will ever figure that one out. 😛 I gave up feeling guilty years and years ago though.