(Closed) feeling a little guilty though it's way too late to do anything (re: guest list)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
12159 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

anonybee0810:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m the same way sometimes and I know how you feel, but when you planned your wedding you invited the people that you felt were the most important to you at that time.  There are people that I wish we could have invited but we didn’t have space.  I recently graduated from a specialized uni. program, there were only about 50 people in my class and we spent 4 years together, classes every day.  Only 4 of them ‘made the cut’.  One who wasn’t invited I see quite regularly for work, I see several others frequently as well.  

There are weddings that DH and I have been excluded from and I wondered why, now having planned one, I get it.  No one will hold it against you – and if they do, they’re probably not really worth having as friends anyway ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 4
12159 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

anonybee0810:  for sure – there are people i haven’t seen or spoke to (outside facebook) since the mid-90s but every now and then I think ‘I wish we’d invited xxx’ Just remember how amazing your wedding was.

Maybe send this friend back a nice letter as a thank you – reconnect a little.  Maybe it’ll hep you connect back to your old friends.

Post # 5
9146 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

IMO neither you nor your friend who invited these older friends is more right or wrong than the other.  While I am a big believer in inviting everyone who should be invited to a wedding, in other words, not limiting the numbers in order to do a more flashy affair, I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to draw the line to the friends you are close to today.

Sometimes people do use wedding invitations in order to reconnect to old friends, though and there is nothing wrong with that, either. 

Post # 6
7107 posts
Busy Beekeeper

anonybee0810:  I would think it was weird if I was invited to the wedding of someone I hadn’t spoken to in 3 years or more. So I think you were perfectly rational in making your guest list. Is it possible your feelings are less about the friends not being at your wedding, and more about them not being in your life at all? Maybe you’re starting to miss them and/or seeing them at the other friend’s wedding stirred up some emotions. If you miss the friends, there’s nothing wrong with dropping them a line (call, text, fb, however your group keeps in touch). But if you’re happy with your current friends and were truly just looking for reassurance that you did nothing wrong, I can assure you — you did nothing wrong. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
595 posts
Busy bee

anonybee0810:  At the time you did what you thought was right and who you felt comfortable inviting.  I too often think that maybe I should have invited a friend from years ago who was my best friend then, but I  hadan’t seen in person for a very long time.  There was also another friend who I thought about inviting as we used to be very close, but then she didn’t invite me to her wedding a couple of years ago either, so she possibly could have thought it was weird if I invited her!!   I also invited some work collegues who I was close to at the time, but now I have moved to a different floor at work and haven’t even seen a couple since the wedding 9 months ago  – I kind of wish I hadn’t invited them!! 

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