Post # 1
Just feeling a little lonely tonight… Mostly brought on by realising that my friendship with a potential bridesmaid has become much more one sided than I had let myself believe over the last year or 2. Particularly hit hard when I realised that after seeing me twice in the last 6 months or so, she had forgotten to invite me to her engagement party and that the ‘e-vite’ I received because she thought i’d ‘totally be the sort of person to be cool with that’ was actually because she’d forgotten to invite me and sent out all the invites. Not to mention my other potential bridesmaid moving 5 hours away and being busy with her new life 6 months ago (totally understandable) and my only other friendship being based on our fiance’s being best friends, so not much support/unconditional friendship felt from that end.
I also find it particularly hard to make new friends. Generally I become really close with a group of friends but then these tend to drift apart as life cirumstances change and i’m left relatively alone while others have moved on. I guess I just sort of thought that by the time I was engaged I might actually have some friends that I could consider inviting to be bridesmaids.
Sorry for the mini vent. Has anyone else been feeling a little friendless lately?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@MissMonie: I can relate hun, you are not alone. I feel like as I got older (I’m 30 now) relationships are freakin’ hard to maintain! It’s honestly hard to get the girls together, or be flexible about just stopping by and visiting. And we don’t have any kids.
I had a similar experience with a bridesmaid. I sort of regretted having her in my wedding because I realized, wow we are just not that close. And she’s an amazing person so that made me sad 🙁 Was it me or are we just “busy”? I don’t know …
PS it’s funny you say “tonight” because it’s 8am here and I am drinking my coffee 🙂
Post # 4
@lealorali: Ahhh 🙂 It’s nearly 11pm here! I love your username by the way. The name lorelei/lorelai/lorali is so gorgeous.
As for your bridesmaid conundrum, I feel for you. Thankfully I made the early decision to not approach the bridal party decision until much later which saves the heartache there. I definitely get the busy thing! While it sometimes works it sometimes feels like it can be a copout. I’ve never been one to think that friends should drop everything for each other but I’ve always made the effort to even just invite friends around for coffee once a month if life has gotten hectic.
Post # 5
I don’t have many female friends at all, but I can def relate with the lonely part. It’s not that I have trouble making friends, I have trouble keeping them. I’m pretty anti-social and a super introvert, and it takes a realllllllllllllllllly long time to crack my hard exterior to get to the gooey insides that are my feelings.
But, that’s totally my fault, I’ve tried being more friendly/open, but it just feels so fake for me.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@MissMonie: SUCH a good call on waiting on the bridal party! I kinda wish I had done that. I need to invite friends to coffee more often, and get off Weddingbee lol
Thanks about the username!! my name is Leah and my dad used to sing to me:
leah- lora- li
kissed the boys and made them cry!
Post # 7
@MissMonie: Oh I’m so sorry you are going through this!! I know it can feel so isolating.
I recently moved 6 hours away from my friends and family and I learned really fast who was insterested in maintaining a friendship and who really didn’t even have time to send a bi-weekly text to say hello!
Are you able at any time to go visit your friend who moved away? It might be nice to get together and take a little break from all of the craziness going on back home. It would be like a mini vacation!
Post # 8
@MissMonie: That’s too bad about that first bridesmaid in particular. Kind of sucky what she’s doing. Weddings are just plain stressful. I know it’s supposed to be this great time, and sometimes it is, but it can also be stressful. I remember getting to a point where I just wished it was over! (I’m previously married) BUT that day was one of the best days of my life so just try to hang on!
As for friends, I have unfortunately moved around the US a LOT. I’m older. It’s very hard to make friends. I was actually thinking about that lately. I’m not in college anymore so I can’t meet people there like younger people do. All the friends I’ve ever made in all these places I’ve moved are either too far away now or we’ve drifted too far apart. What my mom did was joined a book club, church, some volunteer groups etc and now she has tons of friends. How about we do that?
Post # 9
I feel the EXACT same way! You are not alone. This website has helped me tremendously. Apparently this is somewhat normal depending on several factors and age being one. This is the most important part of our lives not theirs. This is not their priority. I cant wait for it all to be over. It has triggered a lot of emotions in me, friends, family etc. I thnk we need to reach out to those people we least expect to be here. I have received more support from strangers.
Post # 10
Glad to hear I’m not the only one experiencing this! Don’t have much more to add but just wanted you all to know that I hear you and how frustrating/upsetting it can feel.