Post # 1
I’ve been married for nine days and I found myself feeling a little down yesterday.
First of all this has NOTHING to do with my husband. I have no regrets and questions about it, and our wedding day was perfect! We have also lived together for 1.5 years so that isn’t a change either.
Some things I am having difficulties with are changing my name and combining our funds. I don’t know, I guess all of a sudden it is just BAM! Goodbye old Miss Me and hello Mrs. Me. It probably doesn’t help that I did a post wedding chop and now I feel older as well :S Bah, I just felt so emo last night and it isn’t fair to me or my husband to be like this. Maybe I am just going through post wedding stress? We were engaged for 21 months and I was kept busy with a lot of wedding stuff during then.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
I am not yet a Mrs., but I understand how you feel. My fiance was asking me the other day if I wanted to put my car in his name once we get married so that the insurance would be cheaper on it. He meant well, but this along with other things is starting to get to me. I also do not have health insurance with my job, and am waiting until November to get on his insurance so that I can go to my yearly check-ups. I feel very dependent on him, and it kind of bothers me. My independence is slowly leaking away :/. I feel bad that I have this feeling, but I cant help it. I wonder if any other bees can relate…
Post # 4
I think it’s normal- maybe a little bit of let-down and some adjustment of your mental picture of yourself and your identity to include “married”? I went through that a little after we got married back in June (it seems to be mostly past now). It was sort of like combining my notions of what “married” and “wife” with my sense of myself and also my identity attached to my maiden name. Maybe you could take it slow to help- change your name on some things, instead of all at once (I’ve been slowly doing it for a couple of months and haven’t encountered any issues yet, aside from a few mis-directed work emails), have a joint account that’s the primary account for you and your husband but still have your own account where you can keep some money for yourself, that sort of thing. You are still the same person you’ve been, just with a new dimension added! It will pass as you settle into your new life!
Post # 5
Well, I am sorry you’re feeling a little sad, but I have to say your post is refreshing. So, thank you. Almost all I read (and don’t get me wrong; I love reading the Bee) on here is how happy and well-adjusted everyone seems to be right after their wedding. Really?! Okay. I just got married for the second time (June) and becoming “we” and “us” is an adjustment.. for me, anyhow. No matter how romantic and emotional and ‘in love’ with my man I may be. And I do think there are post-wedding blues too. So there’s that. Just wanted to add my voice to yours Bride Colleen and say I don’t think for a sec that you’re alone out there.
Post # 6
I broke down and cried when I got denied for a library card! I felt like I wasn’t my old self of new self and the transition period got me a little down. I not have my new license and have managed to contact each company that I have an account with to update my name and address and will soon have my new credit cards. But the part about being two people at once and not being able to 100% identify with eithers gets to be a little bit hard to swallow.
I am not sort of excited about my new name and glad that I have legal documents proving it.
Post # 7
I too went through about a month and a half after the wedding of being sad and not really knowing why. I am so happy about being married to the most amazing guy and who is my best friend, so I couldn’t figure out why I was depressed. I think that I had so much fun things to do for the wedding and my friends were always around and calling about the wedding and all our family came out and all the fun activities we did with out of towners after the wedding. So when it was all over and I had nothing left to look forward too, everyone went back to their busy lives and I had to go back to my high stress job, it was a bit depressing. And then we got our wedding pics back and our photographer did a disappointing job and that made me cry for about two days.
But I did realize recently that the important thing is that I get to share my life with the only person I want and whom I love more than anything and not many people get that opportunity. I am glad that I am not alone in feeling a bit bummed after my wedding, but think it just takes some time and a period of adjustment before new adventures come along.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Totally normal, I think! Any life-changing event always makes me stop and take stock of things and it’s hard not to feel some sort of sadness when stuff changes…Remember that Wonder Years quote “Change is never easy. You fight to hold on, you fight to let go…”? It takes time to get used to new things…
I think it’s helpful to get it all out of your system and then pick a few positive things to look forward to (like maybe babies?)
Post # 9
I haven’t worked this year (thanks, Hubs!) so ALL of my time has been filled with wedding. I literally don’t know what to do with myself now! I think that’s probably why I feel a little sad now. =/
Post # 10
@roxy821: I agree, being two people at once is hard! I’m applying for jobs while changing my name and it’s challenging. I got a call back and actually had to ask the woman which name I’d given her ( my married or my maiden)! Luckiliy she understood but it’s tough.
Post # 11
I’m feeling this off and on too. My Hubby is gone all over the country a lot, and I feel like everything post-wedding has been dumped on me. He’s a great help when he’s around, but his job takes him away a lot.
Post # 12
Yeah it’s like I don’t have anything to plan or organize or do anymore!!! And hubby changes shifts every two weeks at work (and is currently working nights) so I don’t get to see/ talk to him as much as I’d like to and that gets me down. But then I get some me time and get to just work my scrapbooking or read or watch mindless tv or shop. I’m adjusting.
Post # 13
i feel the same.. i am not taking over his last name so i dont’ need to worry about that. but since i also don’t have a job yet, i have no focus in life. i hope i have a joooob!