(Closed) Feeling a little strung along presently

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I’m just starting to feel like he’s realizing that he made promises that he doesn’t want to live up to, and instead of stepping up and telling me the truth he’s trying to blame it on things that are “outside of his controll”.

This is what I’d tell him. But that’s just me. Let him know that he seems to have withdrawn and his lack of enthusiasm and desire to move forward with things makes you feel like you’re being strung along. Or like youre not being told something. I don’t think you’re suffering from waiting crazies. I think you’re suffering from a goal communication gap. And based on what you’re saying it doesn’t seem to be for a lack of effort on your part. One other thing I’d suggest would be to show him a breakdown of estimated costs to show him that your budget isn’t unrealistic and you aren’t just pulling numbers out of your butt. Show him what’s been saved. It sounds like he has no clue what a wedding financially entails and probably is imagining a number that would make warren buffett shake in his boots. And maybe even ask if he feels he isn’t ready to save for a wedding when he’s not even engaged yet.

Hope this helps. Good luck. Keep us updated.

Post # 4
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Do you think his monetary concerns could possibly be about the ring and not the wedding?  Not sure if you’ve discussed the ring or not, but that might be a reason for him to stall…?

Post # 5
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This sounds kind of similar to me and my SO. I don’t think he’s stringing you along though.. i’m sure he wants everything to be perfect, and just like my SO he probably has no clue on how to go about the whole process… getting a ring, planning the proposal. ect ect. 

I opened my mouth again this weekend (even though i told myself and other on here that i wouldn’t) but same as you, we were surrounded by so many married and engaged couples and couples with kids this weekend and it was sending me over the edge! haha..

I just said i feel like i’m just waiting for you to make your mind up… and also the fact that he keeps talking about buying a boat pisses me off because in my mind i feel like its money he could put towards a ring! because he doesnt have a ton of indisposable funds… or he’s just cheap.. ;p but anyways.. i said that.. and that was all i said… and he started going on and on about how much he has to get a ring and where he wants to go to look for one, but he hasn;t had time to really look around like he wants to, and how he has to come up with a good story to tell me on where he’s going to be that day, and how he still needs to talk to my dad, and most importantly that he isn’t sure which kind of ring i would like the best…. so ofcourse i then gave him a few ideas ;)…

but after all of that… i really REALLY really realize i NEED TO JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT… It’s going to happen, maybe not next week or next month or this summer even, but i really need to stop thinking about it so much before i ruin the surprise of it completely… everyone on here that is so sweet and so helpful and keep telling me that are right…

ANWAYS! what i’m getting at is maybe your SO is in the same boat that mine is in… that’s what it sounds like to me… its smart to save up too.. for all of those things you mentioned. 

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