Post # 1
I’m the oldest of 3 girls and the last to get married. My sisiters both have their families and are a distance away from me. My youngest sister is out of state and the other is almost 3 hours away. In trying to come up with my theme and get opinions, the only person that I feel really comfortable talking with is my Fiance. My friends are too busy with their own lives and their families, and the single friends I have could care less at this point. Plus, I don’t want to be the girl who ONLY talks about her wedding for the next 17 months. This makes it even harder for me to choose a Maid/Matron of Honor, yet alone my bridal party. I have a ton of family and friends to choose from, but in my minds eye, I don’t see anyone up for the job. Even my own Mother is too busy. I remember for my sisters weddings, evey weekend was dedicated in some way to help her plan or do some project. there were acouple of weekend when I couldn’t make it and my middle sister threatened to kick me out of the bridal party! I dont want to be that girl! I just wish more people would be a little more excited aoub thelping me out.
Post # 3
@tinarenee77: You are not alone. In fact, I think a lot of brides-to-be are in the same boat (I know I am). To be honest, no one cares more about planning your wedding than you and that’s the way it should be. The best way to handle it is to reach out to your sisters and Mother. Ask them to come visit you. Set a date and plan a bunch of appointments that day. If they knew you felt this way, I’m sure they’d try and make it up to you. Just be honest.
Post # 4
I know how you feel. When I first got engaged I was SO EXCITED (like most of us are). I wanted to talk about it all the time. I did the mistake of picking out my bridal party right afterwards (like literally the next day). And my Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t very supportive (or at least that’s how I felt). Needless to say, she is not my Maid/Matron of Honor anymore and we barely talk.
I still feel alone most days when it comes to planning, but I try to use this site to get ideas out (even tho I still feel like most people don’t listen lol).
I would suggest trying to see if you can make a few friends who are also wedding planning. Maybe post on craigslist or something in the strictly platonic section?
And just like missmichegan said, maybe planning a day with your mom and sister will help them get more in the mood.
Post # 5
@tinarenee77: You said the only person you feel comfortable talking about planning the wedding with is your fiance, then said “I have a ton of family and friends to choose from, but in my minds eye, I don’t see anyone up for the job.”
People aren’t going to know what you want if you don’t tell them! Don’t expect everyone to clamor to your side when you announce you are getting married. You need to ask for help. It sounds like you’re expecting people to come to you, and since they’re not doing that, you don’t think they are up for the job. As long as your requests are in reason, start calling up people and get organizing. I’m sure you have lots of lovely people in your life who are more than happy to help.
Post # 6
@tinarenee77: I know how you feel. when I got engaged, my first thought was “yay!” and then “I won’t have a maid of honor, boo :(“
I have tons of friends who are girls, but none that are close enough to call my best friend. they’re all “fair weather friends.” my best friend is my fiancee. we hang out with guys mostly. my good friends from college live far away, and my sister (although I love her to death) is a great sounding board when I need to talk, but I can’t really rely on her to give her any responsibilities. (again, I love her – she’s just kind of a free spirit.)
I hired a planner, and will have a few friends on my side as bridesmaids (and one brides man). not having a best girlfriend gets to me sometimes, but I remind myself that I’m lucky to have such an amazing fiance. I try not to dwell on it.
Post # 7
I feel like this too right now. My bridesmaids are kind of clueless and not exactly interested in the planning details. My mom and Mother-In-Law don’t seem as excited as I thought they would be. Like you, I don’t want to be “that girl” always brining up wedding plans, but I wish someone would volunteer to help a little! I sent my bridesmaids links to little articles on bridesmaids duties, hoping they’d read them and follow through, but to no avail. Even my Fiance has taken a backseat and the ‘whatever you want’ approach and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I also feel like he’s not appreciating all the work that’s gone into planning. I even showed him a breakdown of costs I’ve incurred that his parents agreed to cover, but he’s been dragging his feet on asking for the reimbursement.
Post # 8
I completely understand how you feel, but hate to hear that you feel the same as I. I was so excited about being engaged. It’s all I wanted to talk about for awhile, but I had no one to talk about it with. I did the same as tranquility and picking out my bridal party the day after. Then I realized that some of those people probably won’t even be around. My one friend said she was honored she was chosen to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but we haven’t talked in the past two months about a damn thing. My Maid/Matron of Honor is busy with work and being a single mother so it’s not like we talk often. We also live an hour away from each other now that I moved in with J. I have no sisters or girl cousins. So, it sucks.
I hope you find someone who will share the joy of this awesome time. -hugs-