Post # 31
No no no no.
In fact, I would cancel the lunch and send her an explanatory email in avoidance of bending or – worse – having a fight in a public place.
Why should you share your wedding!? You get ONE day to recognize your wedding and anniversary, to share/display your happiness and love with your friends and family. It’s not JUST about the family from out of town – it’s also about your photos, your fiance’s family (who probably doesn’t know your cousin and all the people she wants to invite), your dress not competing with another bridal dress, your wedding not competing with another wedding.
She’s either really cheap or naive. I really hope it’s the naive one.
Post # 32
Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment on my post. I don’t know how to tag everyone in my response but just wanted to give you all an update. My fiancée and I met with them on Sunday and it didn’t go well. We told them how we felt about being ambushed and were just honest about wanting to have our special day the way we have envisioned and planned it. They pretty much told us we were being inconsiderate of everyone who has to travel far to attend the weddings. We suggested that they do it the day/days before or after and that they could have anything from our wedding. She said that it would be “rushed” for her to plan everything on her own and that it would be “easier” for her to just combine both weddings. We are having our wedding on a Friday so I told her she could so it that Saturday that way we are still keeping everyone in mind. She said Saturday would be expensive to get food catered ect and that she doesn’t want to have her wedding on a Thursday. We also mentioned the fact that she needs to speak to our family friend and see what her thoughts are about hosting her weddings. I have already spoken to our family friend and she feels ambushed as well. She thinks it’s very rude of her to invite herself to someone’s home/time.
I’m honestly grateful that after Christmas I had several texts, emails, and calls from family members telling me that I should not be pressured into sharing my wedding date and that they were the ones who suggested that she have her wedding a day before or after.
Post # 33
I can’t believe she was actually serious. She is the crazy one bee, please don’t feel bad at all.
Post # 34
I’m gobsmacked. This woman is out of her mind. You’ve given her the perfect solution (her wedding on Saturday) and it’s too hard? Clearly she is lazy, bossy and extremely inconsiderate. I’m so glad you said no, imagine what sort of a bridezilla she would be on the day. The family will understand. And she’s put your poor family friend in a tricky situation, that is so unfair. What a leech.
Post # 35
Your cousin is NUTS! Thank you for the update. Your fiancee definitely saved the day. Im glad you stood your ground and I think you gave your cousin vible options. I’m extremely happy to hear that your family is seeing your side! Please keep us updated!
Post # 36
OMG after your update your cousin sounds even MORE insane…!!
Post # 37
Wow! your cousin is self absorbed but not self aware please tell her that. Carry on as you planned and have a wonderful day with those who truly love and care for you and your Fiance. Congratulations and best wishes.
Post # 38
smile111: The good news is that it sounds like your family won’t be upset about you not giving in to her.
As for the rest of it…..wow. Sounds like she wants someone else to throw her a wedding on their dime. Were you to do this, I’d bet she’d add a bunch of guests to the list and not pay very much of the costs, if any.
Post # 39
Sounds like she’s lazy and cheap. In that case- tell her to elope! Far far away!
Post # 40
I just wanted to say that I’m so glad your family members are supporting your decision to have a wedding alone.
As for your cousin, it’s a good thing for her that you are not a pushover. Because she will finally learn a thing or two about “working hard for what you want”. This one instance will show her that life does not revolve around her and her alone. 🙂 Take heart, this is a good thing.
Post # 41
Sooo, was she just trying to be lazy and let you and your Fiance do all the planning and paying, and just show up in her dress, too? Cuz to me, that’s a lot of what it sounded like.
Combined weddings only make sense to me for really special couples with a really strong, special bond, like twins getting married. In any case, if the couples both loved the idea, then it’d be fine. You don’t.
Post # 42
smile111: Really? So was she going to help pay the expenses?
Post # 43
Now it all makes sense. she is lazy, cheap and entitled. Got it!
You have every right to having a wedding OF YOUR OWN!! She needs to kick rocks.
Post # 44
Yes, everything they said – and OP , you have got your stds out haven’t you ? She is crazy enough for anything……….
Post # 45
Can’t even believe you offered to let them have their wedding the day after or before yours. The last thing I’d want to do the week of my own wedding is go to another one. You are too kind.
Glad you stood your ground. Good for you. Now avoid the drama and try your best to ignore her insanity.