- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2010
I recently got a new director at my job who I could not stand. everybody hates her, literally the entire department is looking for a new job. well, for reasons I don’t want to get into here (long story), I decided it’s time for me to get out of there and freelance. I’ve been a designer for 10 years, and I think I have a chance to do ok with this.
the thing is, my boss was causing me a great deal of anxiety. it was so bad, I quit that job because I was afraid I’d have a major breakdown or get sick. so I put in my notice without having formed any kind of business plan or anything. since I was feeling so anxious, I decided to take a 1 month break before starting freelance.
here’s the problem: today is my first official day of my 1 month break, and I cannot relax! yesterday I had panicky feelings all day, and I had really weird, paranoid dreams all night last night. I feel anxious again today. and trust me– I am no type A. I am usually an expert at relaxing!
reasons why I should feel fine and not panic:
1. I have been told I am a good designer and I already have leads. even my mom – who never approves of anything – approves of my decision! and that speaks volumes!
2. my husband makes plenty of money for the both of us. we live way below our means (our rent is not expensive, etc). he could easily support us forever, and he is being very emotionally supportive of my career decision. I really don’t want to brag, this is not my point of saying this. what I mean is that money is not my fear.
3. I can always apply for another job if freelance does not work out for me.
what is the matter with me??!! why can’t I relax? I am such a lucky person to be given this oppurtunity, I should be dancing around and shouting from the rooftops!
I am about to step away from the bee to do the only sensible thing I ccan think of right now: exercise. I have prescribed exercise for myself every day until I friggin’ calm down.
but anyway, does anybody have any other advice or at least similar experience? I want to enjoy my month off and I feel like crap right now!
ok, I’m stepping away from the computer for a few hours but if you have any questions I’ll get back to you tonight!
(PS: I just re-read this post and I feel so spoiled. wah, poor me. but still– why do I feel so anxious? I don’t get it.)