(Closed) Feeling awkward – good news at a funeral

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

arg people who assume they are invited to weddings are super rude.

That said, just because they’re old doesn’t mean they’ll forget… but your wedding is still a ways away so hopefully since they will likely not be in contact with you again in all that time, they’ll rationalize that they’re obviously not going. Also, they may have just been saying that as a weird way to be nice? Like “Yay of course we’ll be there!” Thinking you would want to hear that?

Also the people who said your grandpa would have liked to see you get married? Ouch! Seriously. 

Post # 4
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

Funerals are some times funny times for people, it is hard to know how to act while grieving, I am sure they didn’t mean anything negitive in thier comment, but it is strange that they would bring it up in the first place I guess. Of corse he would want to be there, that seems obvious, but nothing you could control.

As for the guest list, I think for the most part people understand not getting an invite if they haven’t seen or talked to you for years. On the bright side it is a good thing that you were a little glimmer of happiness for them. Im sure your family understand you wern’t trying to overbear on the funeral or anything.

Post # 5
3943 posts
Honey bee

People get weird at funerals. A lot of people feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say or how to act. Saying things like “he would have loved to be at your wedding”, probably wasn’t meant as a dig it was meant to give you some type of peace. Meaning they know how much he cared about you.

The stuff people said to me at my dads funeral and my grandfathers was sometimes absurd.

Post # 6
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My fiance and I had just gotten semi-engaged when my Grandmother passed last year.  At the funeral, I introduced him as my fiance, and said the ring was coming.  I still got asked what the date was – my answer was sometime next year, and thanked them for coming.  But it did put a smile on some faces knowing that it was happy news.

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