(Closed) Feeling bad after shower…

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow can you say JEALOUS !!! Who cares what she would want for her shower??? It’s YOUR shower, and if you wanted to be more involved in it, then so be it. Why does she even care? She clearly didn’t bring anything to the table anyways. Your aunt did everything. 

As your maid of honor, she is being completely out of line. How long have you known her? Is she single and bitter? You need to have a sit down with her and talk about how you’re feeling. None of this will go away on its own. She needs to be told that you didn’t appreciate her snide comments and that you just want her to be there for you in the same supportive manner that you would be for her. 

Post # 5
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I think she’s being completely ridiculous. Really, who cares if you gave your preference on a few foods? Your aunt was throwing the shower & was trying to make you happy.. so she asked for your input. Sounds totally normal to me. I know all the info for the food at our shower, and they asked my opinion as well. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I’m guessing she’s unhappy about something else and is just looking for an excuse to be angry.

Post # 6
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

One word; Jealous!

She is totally out of line…..

Post # 8
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yep, your mom is probably right!

Please, don’t let her spoil this time for you!

Post # 9
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MrsD41503:shes jealous thats really unfortunate im sorry you have to go thru that with ur Maid/Matron of Honor. id call her out. thats ridiculous 

Post # 10
1961 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

….It’s not like you forced your way into the planning. Your Aunt ASKED you what you wanted. I think it’s perfectly fine to have a say in shower planning if you are asked about your preferences. That’s just normal… Your friend would probably have a fit if she knew my grandmother asked me about what foods I wanted and my mother just sent me three invitation templates to pick from. Geesh. I agree with a PP about her sounding jealous. Maybe she’s feeling lonesome because you’re getting married and she’s taking it out on you? I don’t know… It sounds like there’s some underlying problem. 

Post # 12
4799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, usually I roll my eyes when brides accuse a friend of being jealous…but this time I’m totally agreeing! And I would approach her about her behavior. Not confrontationally or through text, but call her and say, “You seem really distant ever since my bridal shower. I heard all your comments about how you don’t think the bride should choose foods and such, and I know when the time comes you want yours to be a surprise…but I’m being made to feel as if I did something wrong by answering my aunt’s questions and offering to help when you were having problems with getting the prizes, printing the games, having pens, etc. Is something else going on or what? Because it doesn’t seem like you to be unhappy with me over…well, really nothing.”

Post # 13
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yep, jealousy meter is off the charts on this one. Definitely bring it up and ask her wtf her problem is (not like that! lol). 

And, uh, whoever throws me a shower had better ask me about at least the food. I’m a really picky eater, and I would not be okay showing up without knowing what’s going to be there to eat. Also, I don’t like games, so there’s that. Do I want to know exactly everything that’s happening? No, but I don’t want to be miserable. 

Post # 14
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My first thought is exactly what everyone else has been saying.  She is most definitely, 100% jealous.  I can think of no other reason for her behavior and comments.  She also doesn’t sound like a very good friend.  The distance may not be such a terrible thing.

Post # 15
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

She is totally JEALOUS. She’s totally having bride envy. I would brush it off and tell her suck wind instead of sucking the joy out of everything! Of course, you sound a lot nicer than me so you could ask her “what’s up? Is everything ok?”

Post # 16
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Seriously, do not let her spoil this for you!  Since you’ve known her for so long, I’m betting this is not the first time she’s done this, right?  I am with the other bees, you are way nicer than me!!  This is obviously something that is way out of your comfort zone, she sees you happy and she’s clearly not with whatever (her boyfriend, job, life in general).  This is coming from someone that has been in the shoes of your bridesmaid ( I had a brief falling out with the bride over my behavior.  Long story, but I wish we didn’t go through what we did.  This was 5 years ago and all is forgiven, but it definitely was a hard time for both of us).

 I think you should talk to her and find out what things is she is comfortable handling and tell her that you’re excited for her to be by your side on this special day.  If she’s still being difficult, maybe “demote” her to bridesmaid so she doesn’t feel the pressure of the Maid/Matron of Honor duties or even think about inviting her as a guest and not part of the bridal party.  It’s your day, her issues are her issues and making jealous remarks as she has done are uncalled for.  If you continue to be too nice, she’ll walk all over you.  Let her know you’re here for her, but need her to come along (or step down).   

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