(Closed) Feeling bad. Is there anything that I can do for her?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think you can do much if you already asked her, but I think it is really nice of you to go out of your way and get her a candle, yet making it blend in with the other favors.

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

Like you said, she has been dealing with this for 10 years. She is probably so used to it that it would be more than a passing thought. I am sure she will think “Oh that looks tasty” but I dont think it will ruin her time.

Think of all the events that are centered around food, birthday celebrations, Thanksgiving etc and she probably goes to them all every year.

Its really nice you got that candle. I am sure she will appreciate that.

Post # 5
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Like the PP said, I think it is really nice that you went out of your way to get her a candle.

I think that since she said there is nothing else that can be done, she probably means it. But it probably means a lot to her that you even asked. So try not to feel bad.

Post # 6
3942 posts
Honey bee

That candle looks delicous! haha

I agree with the PP’s. Its really nice that you want to do something, but she is probably so used to it that its not something she thinks about much.

Post # 7
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My dad’s uncle had cancer as well, and ended up having an operation where they put a hole in his throat (trachetomy?).  He also can only drink, not really eat.  Covers the hole to speak.  He’s a great, fun guy and I’ve only ever known him this way.  I don’t see him that often, but from what I can tell, he really doesn’t mind the rest of us enjoying food and such – he get pleasure from just watching us (and I imagine, to put it bluntly, being alive as opposed to the alternative).  If you want to assist your aunt, perhaps make sure there is apple cider that she can drink, and your candle idea is great.  Otherwise…I’d just suggest you leave it alone.  If you make a big deal out of it, it may draw unwanted attention.  And don’t forget, while *you* may see this wedding as being all about the food, it’s likely that others such as your aunt really just see this as a special time with family…

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