- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Haven’t been on here in awhile but I find everyone on here is waaaay more supportive than everywhere else I look, so I am coming to look for some support once again!
I wrote here about 2 months ago about my breast cancer diagnosis, the day I was diagnosed. I was blown away by all the responses I got, from so many of you, people I don’t even know!
I have since had my surgery and am recovering from that, and will be starting chemo in the coming weeks.. just in time for the holidays, woohoo! One of the (many) unfortunate things that young people with cancer have to deal with is the possibility of becoming infertile as a result of the chemo. There is no way to predict it, it happens to some and not others. My husband and I explored doing embryo preservation, and did all the tests and everything, but when it comes down to it, we feel it is just too much to throw into the mix right now, when it will be so rushed. I am already dealing with so many appointments, tests, scans, you name it, and want to rest up a bit before all the chemo craziness. Not to mention I am emotionally and physically exhausted from the last 2 months and the surgery. The various possible side effects, time, money, complications, etc. that can come with IVF just felt too much to take on right now. If fertility were the only thing we were dealing with, then that would be a different story… But when you throw cancer into the mix, it’s a lot to handle.
So we are most likely not going to do it, and keep our fingers crossed that the chemo and all the drugs I will need will not destroy my chances to have a baby. If it does, I know there are other options.. egg donors, or adoption. And if we had to, we would explore those options and find a solution. It is just so hard, with everything I am going through right now, to also deal with the idea that I may not be able to have a baby. Cancer is a mean b****, and I am not very happy with it right now!
Right now my main focus is just to get healthy, and to survive. That’s what matters. It is just so hard to feel like the life I dreamed of is being ripped away from me. I have only been married for 1 year, I am in my 20’s, and I adore children, and family is so important to me… it is so hard not to ask “why me”, even though I know there is no answer and no good reason, just bad luck.
So all that to say… I’m feeling a bit blue and would love your words of encouragement! I keep scouring the internet for stories of women who had children after cancer treatment, and it keeps me hopeful… even though I’m aware every case is totally different. But I still keep hoping this will all work out.
Thanks for listening!