(Closed) feeling bride-orexic :-(

posted 5 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@laaleeloolaa:  If you get down to 120 you will be quite a low weight, BMI-wise. Not underweight, but still on the lower side of “normal”. I wouldn’t advise losing any more weight than that. And if you’re having feelings like this – of needing to lose weight, even though you know you shouldn’t, I think you should pay attention to this. Be very cognizant of these automatic thoughts. I think you should make sure you’re eating enough and not exercising too much… better yet, try not to worry too much about what you are eating. I think you need to take some focus away from your weight… hope this helps.


Post # 5
2759 posts
Sugar bee

That’s the problem with weight loss and the whole diet industry/obsession in general – it’s never enough. You pick a goal weight, get there, and you still aren’t happy because what they don’t tell you is that it isn’t the number on the scale that matters, it’s your own personal self image. If you’re unhappy and hate yourself at 230 lb., you’re probably going to still find things to dislike at 130 or 120 – losing weight doesn’t make troubles go away.

Love your body for the way it is, the things it does for you, and how beautiful it is. I promise you, 5 lb. is not going to make a difference. Your weight generally fluctuates a couple pounds throughout the week and month anyawy depending on your menstrual cycle, what you’ve been eating, etc. The scale is a rotten way to measure yourself by.

Picture perfect is YOU as a happy, confident woman. Focus on the big picture, not the details ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sure you will look lovely, radiant and not care one whim whether you’re 120 lb. or not for your big day.

Post # 6
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am 5’6″ and I know that at 150 I am a size 8-10 in pants and 6-8 in skirts, and a medium in shirts.  I was 117 in high school and was a size 2.  That’s pretty skinny for 5’6″.

At 125 I’m sure you look great!!!   

Post # 7
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@laaleeloolaa:  Stop focusing on the number and work on toning. Get a washboard stomach and tight shoulders. That’ll help you get away from the whole number deal AND you’ll look fantastic. 

ETA: Tone up your back and shoulders. That’s what usually shows in a wedding dress, right? So work on the parts everyone will see ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 10
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Chrysoberyl:  Agreed.

People who post stuff like this make me feel fat. I’m 5’1″ and 115-120 and comfortable with the way that I look.

Post # 12
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

I definitely think this is a “thing.” The concept that a bride needs to “look perfect” and that that would involve us looking painfully thin are just extremes of our culture in general. It’s ridiculous and on some level we know that, and on another level we’re so used to hearing the messages that we need to strive to look “perfect” and part of that is to look, frankly, underweight, it’s insidious and slips in there, we can find ourselves believing it before we know it. 

I find it’s important to be stubborn and not allow the pressures-that-be to do this to our brains. You just need to remember how you used to know perfectly well that you were beautiful and healthy at a higher weight than you have been aiming… putting on a white gown doesn’t change that at all. I think anger can be our friend here. I get angry about these disempowering subtle pressures and when I get angry I remember how strong I am and how no one can belittle me this way, and I just halt any efforts related to changing my shape until I know I’m only doing it for the right reasons.

I’m not doing “bridal bootcamp,” I’m not on a “bridal diet,” I’m not preparing for the “big sale” that is my wedding where I am the product… If I want to exercise or make an eating habit change I will do that for me only! And if my figure stays the same…or gets larger and/or less fit on that day, no one has the right to try to imply I failed at doing anything, because I was never doing it for anyone else or the vague culture-gods, the wedding day is not the “end goal,” it’s just an important day in my life, not the first nor last (and not important because I succesfully sold myself that day, but because another human and I declared our lifelong bond to each other… and of course that didn’t relate to my weight at the time, there was nothing about it that was remotely like him buying a commodity. That’s why there are no scales at the ceremony, after all).

Post # 13
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I seriously cannot stand when people make up terms like “bride-orexic”. It sounds like you are making a joke about a very serious subject. If you feel like you are headed in the direction of an eating disorder, PLEASE go talk to someone. An obsession with losing weight is not healthy.

Post # 14
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

120 for 5’6″ is perfect. Just focus on maintaining it since you have almost a year until your wedding!!

Post # 15
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, I definitely have felt this way at times. I am mostly worried about how I will look in pictures.  However, I decided just to focus on toning and not the weight loss. Weight wise i’m in the healthy range but on the higher end of things 5’4 128 lbs. A lot of my friends that got married went through this at some point. Just know that you will look great no matter what!

@PermaStudent I don’t think the OP was trying to joke about a serious subject. I think it was just a way to describe how she was feeling

Post # 16
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@vorpalette:  I’m the exact same size as you! Height and weight! How funny. 


@laaleeloolaa:  I think that at 5’6″ and 120 lbs you might be getting into scary thin territory. I weight that much at 5’1″ and although I feel I have a little extra pudge that I’m trying to lose, I am definitely not overweight and am pretty happy with how I look. I have had times when I get obsessed with what I eat when I’m trying to lose weight, and the solution for me is to not focus so much on what I eat. Try your best to forget about dieting, and focus on exercising and just eat what you want to eat. If you are building muscle, you will weigh more than you look like you do, anyway, as muscle is heaver. I’m sure you know this, but it’s encouraging to think about how, if you are muscular, your muscles use up calories just existing! 


If you post pictures of yourself on here (you can blur out your face if you want to maintain privacy), we will all ooh and aah over how great you look– it sounds like you’ve been working really hard at changing the way you look, and I bet you look good!

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