- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I am feeling upset and like I have made a poor choice with my bridesmaids. I’m so sorry because I’m sure I come off as a total brat in my rant below. It is great that anyone wants to stand up with me at all. I jsut wish I had gone with my first instinct instead of letting my fiance sway my decision.
I have one sibling, my brother. I was raised with him and my two male cousins as if we are all brothers and sister. When my fiance asked who I wanted to be my maid of honor and bridesmaids, I told him that I would choose my brother to be my man of honor, and if we decided to have more attendants then that I would ask my cousins to be the brides-men.
My fiance is apparently more traditional than I. He really raised a fit, saying it was too weird to have men on the bride’s side and he didn’t like it a bit. He has two very close friends who he wanted to stand up with him. I felt like he was going to exclude his sisters from having any part of the wedding if I didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids, so I asked the sisters to stand up with me and I asked my fiance to include my brother with the groomsmen.
Now I am regretting my choice and thinking I should have just stuck to my guns. I do genuinely love my fiances two sisters – Mary and Linda – but they are not who I would have originally chosen. They are not people I would normally hang out with if we weren’t soon-to-be relatives.
They are both acting weird about the cost of dresses already. I informed them that I woud pay a certain amount toward each of their dresses, and try to choose something reasonable. I have shopped around quite a bit, and it will probably end up costing them each between $0-$30, and I am not asking them to buy special shoes or do their hair, etc. But Mary has already called her mother and asked for help with the dress expense. I feel like she seems very imposed upon, even though I am not forcing her to be in this wedding, and she has over a year to come up with $30. Linda will most likely ask her mom to cover her part of the cost as well.
Also, I am feeling so disappointed about the bachelorette. Both of my cousins had awesome bachelor parties in Vegas with their friends – I was not invited because of course it was men-only. I LOVE Vegas – I would love nothing more than to do an awesome bachelorette with my bro and cousins, which they would not hesitate to go on with me. However, now I am back to an all-girls plan. Both the girls would balk at anything as expensive as an out of town trip, neither know how to gamble, and basically they are not really into it. I would be quite satisfied with a day trip to the local gambling town, even just to play the nickel slots and have free cocktails, but again they are not into that scene. I will probably end up just going and clubbing with them, which is not what I wanted but that is what they are willing to do. I don’t understand why a $30 dress is such a problem, but going out and buying a bunch of $12 martinis is ok.
I also did not want to have a bridal shower at all, but Mary is hell bent that the shower will be a big deal. Linda does not seem to give a crap about any of the events one way or another and is simply following Mary’s lead. I feel like Linda would be happier not being in the wedding at all, but is just going along because Mary is.
Just wish I could go back in time and ask my fun, awesome brother and cousins to stand up with me, and find some other way to include the sisters. But now I am stuck. I didn’t want to do all this girly stuff in the first place.