(Closed) Feeling bridesmaid regret

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Your wedding is still so far away, and your FI’s sisters don’t seem to be that excited about it from what you said. Grown women shouldn’t have to ask their mother to cover $30 for a dress. I would just add your cousins to your side, and keep the sisters. That way, the sisters get to be involved and plan the shower, and you get to have your cousins in the wedding/they will get to have a bachelorette party for you. It’s really not up to your Fiance who gets to stand up for you, and you should have an honest discussion about it with him, because you shouldn’t feel like your Fiance is the only one represented in your wedding party, other than your brother who would be on his side. Your Fiance should respect your feelings, and really no one will probably remember who was in your wedding party. You could even move his sisters to his side.

Post # 4
Member
1777 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am sorry for your situation.  Unfortunately there is nothing you can really do now except make the best of it 🙁  I do think $30 is extremely reasonable (especially considering what some brides put their girls through).

 

Suggestion: Take a trip to Vegas with your Fiance, brother, and cousins.  Who cares if it is not your official “Bachelorette” party because your Fiance is there.  It will still be a great time and a lot of fun for you all!

 

Hope it works out!

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jenn_jenn:  Have you spoken to your Fiance about your disappointments and how his sisters seem uninterested?

Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know what you mean. It was very nice of you to include your FSILs. It’s your day to be happy and if you would like to have your cousins stand with you, then you should do so. Or you can include them in some other way, ushers. I’m learning the same lesson right now but no time to change things around.

Post # 8
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think a larger issue is to talk about why your fiance was so dead against something so important to you. Again, people are saying, “you might be stuck like this.” Your future sisters-in-law seem like somewhat reasonable people if they care about you but don’t seem keen on being in the bridal party (I assume, also, if they were asking moms for help on a cheap dress, that they’re probably not even out of college? I’m thinking younger sisters here?).  

So, like other people said: the main issue here isn’t your bridal party… it’s the fact that your future husband is so rigid against something very important to you. Link him to articles, sit him down, go to pre-marital counseling… if he is so hard against something that is obviously causing you stress, you have bigger fish to fry than just who’s standing where in the bridal party (let him know people have been having men/women stand on different sides for years, too… it’s really not that modern of a convention).

Post # 9
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This may be rude but I’m going to say it…If you can afford $12 martinis and not a $30 dress you have deeper issues.  I’m thinking it’s not the cost of the dress, it’s the fact that they feel like they shouldn’t have to buy something for the wedding.  I totally understand how you feel.  My Fiance is buying his older sister’s bridesmaids dress.

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