- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’ve been going back and forth about posting something about my situation. I just need some help from someone not emotionally involved.
First off, I’m the farthest thing from a brideszilla. I had all my girls choose long black dresses of their choice from David’s Bridal. One girl actually had a dress from a previous wedding and I’m allowing her to wear that! 🙂 That way everyone could chose their own price point, style and feel good about themselves on my wedding day. I’m also paying for hair and makeup to be done at my house the day of the wedding.
I think I’m being a pretty generous bride and as easy going as you get! I’m not making anyone do any DIY stuff. My fiancee and I have handled most of our stuff by ourselves. We have 90% of our vendors and I haven’t been dragging my girls around like slaves at all! I offer up information if they ask and I’ll send out emails to give updates as needed.
Now, where is the problem?
My Maid/Matron of Honor… She is my cousin, but much more like a sister. I’ve been there for her through thick and thin. I was in her wedding and ran around the ‘Day Of’ like a chicken with my head cut off and saved the day for her MANY times! The day that her husband left her I spent the WHOLE day on the phone with her and dropped everything to be there for her. I spent the next 3 years helping her to pick up her pieces and get back on track emotionally. I taught her everything from to NOT wear “Mom” jeans to how to date and talk to men!
I spent at least one night every other weekend with her when she didn’t have the kids and spent time with her and the kids at least once a month, including going to the beach one week a year with them.
When I started dating my FH, I made sure to not drop her. I included her in everything still. She was one of the first people to meet him! The 3 of us hung out together alot. Then in September when I told her I was engaged, she got a new boyfriend. A guy that her friends had been trying to hook her up with since she finalized her divorce. She’s never thought he was good enough for her, but apparently when I got engaged…he was! Well, since September I can count on one hand how many times I have seen her, not counting holidays. I have met her boyfriend twice. I have tried talking to her about it 3 times!
The third time I told her I was done chasing her! She needed to make an effort. Otherwise, I would just see her on my wedding day, hopefully.
Well, on Easter she brought her new Boyfriend or Best Friend to meet the family and gave me a BIG cold shoulder and only nasty things flew out of her mouth towards me. I didn’t bring the “right” dessert… I only brought a trifle and two pies… It wasn’t good enough. Then she accused me of having HER trifle bowl… later when we were alone she stated…oh this is yours… Then she asked me twice where I was registered… She knew this! I’ve told her… Then she kept saying she didn’t know Kohl’s had a registry!
Well, the day after Easter she called and yelled at me because I was giving her the cold shoulder… Yeah! Because she was yelling at me! Then she went on and on to tell me how selfish I am and how I should be happy for her being in a relationship and how I should support her! Um… not really sure where any of that came from.
She asked me how she can fix this. I’m not sure how we can. It’s been two weeks from that conversation and just thinking about that makes my blood boil!
I feel like she just used me to help her in those situations. 🙁 I’m a generally helpful person and don’t generally ask for much in return, but this is a BIG thing in my life.
She is insisting on hosting the shower and has made the comment that she is just going to do the shower and send all the other bridesmaids a bill more than once! Now, the dress price point thing is because I know that some of my bridesmaids aren’t as well off as others. This idea just makes me SOOOO mad!
I have a few bridesmaids who are awesome! I actually feel terrible that one of them isn’t my Maid/Matron of Honor.
The thought of going to a shower that my Maid/Matron of Honor is hosting gives me an anxiety attack. She wants to do it her way and she wants to show off her house. I feel like this isn’t for me, but it’s for her. 🙁 Honestly I don’t even really care about the shower. I’d rather have a great bachelorette party! I feel like the shower is something for my mom and aunts. I’m in a pickle and trying to figure this whole thing out because one of my bridesmaids is from out of town and has already bought a plane ticket for her and her family to be in town. Maid/Matron of Honor has NOT responded to her emails.
My other girls want to be involved. My mom wants to be involved. My Maid/Matron of Honor just wants to plan this shower herself and not include others. Plus, apparently I’m selfish and she hates me… Why does she want to plan this shower?
Do I just deal with it? Honestly I don’t even want to talk to her. I don’t deserve to be talked to like that.
My one bridesmaid (known her since 3rd grade) wants to take care of it herself and plan the shower with my mom and other bridesmaids.
I don’t want to start a family feud. But, I just am soooo hurt… I have other bridesmaids who are awesome and supportive and WANT to celebrate with me.
Side Note: Maid/Matron of Honor has also told me:
– She isn’t buying us a wedding gift. (Fine. I don’t need one, even though I bought her a nice one when she got married and I was in college and working 3 part time jobs to pay for it.)
– She told me she wasn’t going on the Bachelorette Party Trip before it was even planned. (She is going to the beach multiple times with her other friends, on a trip with her Boyfriend or Best Friend and her week long trip with the kids that I’m no longer invited to.)
– She wants to spend ALL of her free time with her new Boyfriend or Best Friend. So, she doesn’t have time for me.
Thanks for reading my vent. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place! 🙁 Am I stuck in Bridesmaids 2?!?!?! I feel like I could write it! LOL