(Closed) Feeling bummed because of negative BM – vent

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

That is a real shame – is there anyway to work with her to rejig the bachelorette to something closer (so more people can attend?) so that you get the best of both worlds? It sucks having to micromanage it, but it sounds like you’re on two different pages as to what you want the weekend to be.

Hugs. x

Post # 5
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

What about having a weekend with just your maids, as planned – but then having a more casual bachelorette night out with other friends? That way people don’t have to commit to the entire weekend, but you’re still getting to hang out with them before the wedding too?

Post # 6
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@ninjajane: It stinks that no one could come, but your Fiance is right. It’s probably because of money, timing issues, etc. I do think the way your Maid/Matron of Honor approached telling you was borderline rude. I mean, really? She should be looking out for your feelings no matter if you’re a bride or “just” her friend. I’d seriously have been peeved too, so don’t feel like it’s just you. Edited to add: I really like your user name.

I like@jaguar’s comment/suggestion of moving it. Unless of course it’s booked and is like, next week or something.

Sorry you’re feeling this way. :/ Just think: 2.5 months!

Post # 7
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Barn at Valhalla

Ugh. I have been on both sides of this. Trying to plan a bachelorette and show for my friend when I was her Maid/Matron of Honor was like herding deranged cats on acid. A few people have the bride’s best interests in mind, but everyone else was hard to pin down, or excited for the drinking/partying aspect, not the hanging with friends aspect.

Now that I am the bride, I do feel like I am micro managing, bc I am a bit of a control freak, but also bc I know what I want. It’s tough.

If I were you, I’d maybe send an email to all the girls about hwo excited you are for a chill, relaxing weekend at the spa. and hope they can come but if they cannot, you understand. It is a long way to fly. Like Jaguar said, maybe doing something in town as well, for the folks who can’t travel so far away? (Oh actually, I just saw you were in LA…not that far…is that where the other BMs are too, mostly?)

Post # 9
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Well, I don’t think it sounds desperate – I think it sounds like you’re genuinely bummed you won’t be able to see them on that weekend, and that you’re making allowances to try and spend some time with them. If I was on the receiving end of that sort of an invitation, I’d do my hardest to work around the dates so I could come party with you! Just a thought, though! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in LA too, and decided to do a one night bach here in town…..so that people could come to just a portion!  It seems to have helped! big hug!

Post # 12
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have to say, Vegas is a 4+ hour drive from LA (not counting traffic) or an hour flight out of the dreaded LAX, either way its tough for most people.  I love me a good party with the girls but I would also pass on such a big commitment.  I agree that you should have something local if you want more friends to attend.  I dont think this has anything to do on how much they care about you, since they will be with you at your wedding.  Hugs

Post # 14
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would tell her straight out that you want to have a nice relaxing weekend with the girls! Maybe vegas isn’t the best place for it. Why don’t you go to a spa for the weekend? or Palm springs would have been more relaxing!

Did you choose vegas?

My bridesmaids ended up planning mine and they all asked why I would like to do. I said dinner and a little drinking. We didn’t go away for the weekend because finacial it was hard to do so for everyone so we just went out for a night

Post # 15
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh and I know completly how you feel about your Maid/Matron of Honor. I had some issues with my bridesmaids too, but we worked it out. I think you should talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor and let her know she was a bit harsh with you and it hurt your feeling.

Post # 16
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Can you plan something that will be closer to your home and probably more affordable than vegas?

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