(Closed) Feeling bummed because of negative BM – vent

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

From my experiences people are so lame when it comes to batchelorette parties.  One of my best friends had her batchelorette a week before her wedding and I drove 6+ hours to attend, and I was the only one not in the wedding party.  A bunch of local friends didn’t go eventhough they said they would.  I don’t get people.

Post # 18
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

First off, we didn’t have batchlor/bachelorette parties so I don’t know anything about how they usually work. I will tell you what I would do though. If I were you I would make a new invitation or send an email explaining that there will be little to no drinking on your part and what you really want to do is what you listed above but if they still can’t make it you understand. Let them know you wanted to be sure they didn’t get the wrong idea be the previous invite as you weren’t told why anyone gave the answer they did. Don’t let them know it hurt you when she said no one was coming and don’t let them know how she told you. Just say that you would love to see them but if they have prior obligations you understand.

I would be upset too and this is why I would make sure it wasn’t just because of the previous invite said there would be mostly drinking. I hope everything works out.

Post # 19
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, don’t be too offended by this. Just because your friends don’t want to go to Vegas doesn’t mean they don’t want to cleebrate with you. It means that they probably don’t have the time to spend a whole weekend away and/or don’t have the money for transportation/hotels/meals/drinking/partying/etc. Vegas is not a cheap town. Even if you drive from LA, with hotels and partyign costs each person would need to expect to spend AT LEAST $300. That’s a lot of money for some people to spend on a weekend.

I think you just need to plan something a bit more low key. Maybe e-mail everyone and say that what’s most important is spending time with your girls and you don’t care where that happens. Say you hope they’d all be up for a relaxing spa day followed by dinner and girls night, and then have your Maid/Matron of Honor plan that.

Post # 21
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@ninjajane: I’m glad you like my idea. I can understand feeling overwhelmed by everything. I was pregnant for part of the planning and had to stop the wedding stuff to have my baby and heal so I know it can be hard trying to plan a wedding while not feeling your best. It just made since to me to contact everyone yourself.

Post # 23
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sometimes people can be really hurtful without realizing it. I’ve found in these situations it’s best to just accept people as they are and try not to let their actions get to me.

But honestly unless I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in someones wedding, I wouldn’t go to a Vegas bachelorette party. It’s waaay too expensive and also not my scene at all. I mean I fall asleep on the couch at like 9:00pm every night, so how in the heck could I be expected to stay up until 4am? Had I known it was a spa/relaxation trip though.. that might be different. But the $ would still play a huge role in my decision.

Post # 24
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@ninjajane: Thanks! That’s actually an old picture of him. He’s almost 9 months old now. I’m going to have to update it when we get our wedding pics back. It’s good for you to give other people things to do and letting them choose how to do it. I did that with almost everything I had other people do. It sounds like you are on the right track with your wedding.

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