Post # 1
This is a heavy post, but I just needed some where to share the thoughts in my head. I have two very different events going on in my life this weekend. I got the phone call that my grandmother was not doing well and in the hospital. The boyfriend offered to come with, and during the course of the weekend, she passed. I am very sad, and concerned for my dad and the family. I grew up in the town where she was so, I was close with her, and while she’s been sick for a while it is still hard. The silver lining I guess, is during the course of events, my boyfriend pulled my dad aside and from what my dad hinted at with me, made his intentions known to my father (read:asked/told him he wanted to marry me). And while I am very happy about that, it comes at a time that I have a hard time being excited. I’m sure he didn’t think my dad would mention anything to me, so I just feel really torn between two extremes. Any way… thanks for letting me vent. I know the waiting bees know how exciting this time should be. Has anyone else experienced a situation that called for different sets of emotions? How did you negotiate that?
Post # 3
Just give yourself some time to be sad about your grandmother. Your boyfriend might not propose for a little while so even though he gave his intentions to your father, he might not be ready to propose yet. So just try to put that off in your mind for now and focus on your sadness for a bit.
Post # 4
ohh you poor thing! Big hugs to you. I know how you feel – my grandfather passed earlier this year and it was an extremely tough time emotionally. Just let yourself be sad when you feel like it and also – let yourself be happy if something makes you smile.
I know my boy really struggled when I was so sad and he hated seeing it and he certainly made a big effort to let me – and my family – know that he was there to look after me.
Even though it is bad timing, the fact that he has asked for permission from your dad shows that he is thinking about the next step and wants to protect you – and he wants your family to know that as well.
Big hugs to get you through the next few weeks
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear that. Just wanted to give you hugs. I agree be sad when you want to and happy and excited when you feel to. Allow yourself to go through the mourning period without feeling guilty for looking forward to the next stage in live.
I’m sure you’re grandmother would have been very proud and happy for you.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry — that’s awful, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
I really like what CupcakeLove says — try to take as much comfort as you can in knowing that he wants to take care of you and protect you. That seems like the place where those feelings intersect.
Post # 7
Big Hugs to you! Feel your feelings as they come naturally, and be gentle with yourself.
Post # 8
As one door closes, another opens. When the proposal comes, you will be excited then. That doesn’t mean you won’t miss your Grandmother or respect her.
Would your Grandmother be excited for you? I am sure she would want you to have the best experience with your engagement. Try to think of that…and also, try not to be so hard on yourself. You feel the way you feel, and you do not need to force anything else onto yourself. If you don’t feel excited right now, you are entitled to that.
Post # 9
Thank you for all of the support ladies. The service is tomorrow and I’m just taking it day by day. It is just nice to feel like it is okay to be happy in some moments, but sad at others. I’ve heard before that emotions are just that, emotions, they are not right or wrong – this is just one of those times, you don’t expect. Again, thank you for taking the time to respond and share your thoughts. They have brought me some comfort.