Feeling depressed and anxious until when should i wait for a proposal

posted 3 months ago in Proposals
Post # 16
381 posts
Helper bee

Oh man. That’s a tough one bee. Its definitely harder to see when your on the inside. Usually I’m all for waiting longer and loving being loved but 8 years? Yeah, and when you bring it up he acts completely inappropriate. I say you can bring it up again, face to face but I wouldn’t expect the answer your looking for. Which btw, you have every right to ask and we all know you have been paaatient.  I’m sure he is a lovely guy and the idea of starting fresh can be daunting. I know that feeling.  

I think after your talk you may have a little more closer on his intentions. Please remember no answer can be an answer. It’s possible you both want different things.

And it’s never too late for you bee. 

Post # 17
7707 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

You’re going to be depressed and anxious a long time, then, because he isn’t going to propose.

Bee, you are worth so much more than a guy who won’t even discuss the future after EIGHT YEARS. You know that. Don’t be afraid to leave; the rest of your life can’t begin until you do.

Post # 18
849 posts
Busy bee

Ouch! Thats rude! I couldn’t date someone who treated me that way. Let alone want to be strung along for ages and no commitment. Times up! 

Post # 19
247 posts
Helper bee

8 years is a long time to still not being willing to discuss it with you. Sounds like a guy that’s just not interested in getting married so waiting around for that is wasting your time. 

Post # 20
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Bee, you’re losing your hair. No man is worth your mental health. 

He is not the be-all and end-all. I know it may feel that way because you spent 8 years together but you need to want more for yourself. Aren’t you bored with this crappy situation? Aren’t you tired of waiting around for this guy only to be shut down when you bring it up? Aren’t you sick of being put off and not prioritzed in the relationship? It sounds like his parents will always come first and he will always be giving his money to them. That sounds frustrating and exhausting and not at all something I’d willingly put up with.

Your fear of losing this guy should not be greater than your fear of your mental health declining.

Losing this guy would be the best thing. You can’t see that now but you need to put yourself first.

If you want to be in a healthy and loving relationship that is headed toward marriage, then that is absolutely doable! There are plenty of guys out there who will treat you right. Go find one of them. This guy isn’t it.


Post # 22
45 posts
  • Wedding: Agoura, California

View original reply
@missgeegles:  I’m so glad that you are taking the necessary steps at putting yourself first. It’s time to take your life, joy and peace back! 

Guy: No one will ever want you. You’ll never find anyone better than me.

Girl: Maybe not like you, but definitely better for me.


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