(Closed) feeling depressed, and self pity VENT!!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5985 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have been through a truley traumitizing event in your life. Have you seeked couseling for this? I feel like you need to focus on helping your depression and the pain of the horrible thing that happened to you. I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel right now, I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. 

I do not think you are a failure at all! You have overcome abuse from friends, a horrible experience, and you have yoru undergrad degree!!! I think you need to focus on getting better and then persue your graduate degree. I think, experiencing what you have, maybe your field is a great place for you. Think of all the people that you can help in the future!! 

Hang in their sweetie. I wish I had better advice or could do something to make you feel better. What I do know is that if you live your life as a good person, good things will eventually happen for you and things will fall into place.

I have never been through anything like you have but I have overcame a lot of difficult obsticles in my life and I would be happy to talk if you need someone neutral to talk to. Feel free to PM me. 

XOXO

Post # 5
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

I think that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  I spent a long time in the Army and THEN I decided to get my degree.  I’ve kicked myself for it the whole time. People my age aren’t in their senior year of college, they’re already working in their careers (or living at home working as baristas, in this economy).  I kept getting down on myself because I felt like I wasted so much time and then a friend of mine asked me what experiences I had that would elevate me when it came to my career.  I realized that I didn’t waste seven years in the Army.  I learned leadership, organization, work ethic, and pride. I’m almost at my graduation now, turning thirty this year, and I’m finally okay with it. 

Especially for your career field the things that you experienced did not make the last six years worthless.  They created a stronger more dedicated you.  You perservered.  You overcame.  You are stronger and smarter.  And maybe all your peers are out there in their practices but there are certain things you can do with your career that they cannot.  Like actually know where a battered woman is coming from or become a special victims police psychologist.  I’m sorry that your past has been so hard.  You are stronger now and you can help others, so don’t give up on your dream career.

And don’t pay too much attention to other people’s life schedules. 

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

*hugs* I’ve bounced around in school a lot, some people take longer to settle and finish school but life teaches us a lot along the way. What a think you do need to do is reach out and talk to people, it’s very hard after depression, especially when it’s rooted in repeated abuse (I know) to rejoin the world but it’s the best cure, little by little, step by step, find joy and value in little things and keep moving forward. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are loved even when you can’t see it. Always remember that.

Post # 9
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are not a failure!

I am so, so sorry for what happened to you and the for the fallout that you appear to be suffering from now. I strongly encourage you to seek counseling, if you haven’t already. Any trauma needs and deserves time and support.

Being in graduate school myself, I think that it’s perhaps a good thing that you aren’t embarking on a program next year, because I know that although the subject is interesting and the work might be worthwhile, graduate school really is a grind and it can be incredibly, incredibly lonely–especially once you transition outside of classes and begin writing a thesis or dissertation. In psychology, research can also be fairly isolating. I made friends in graduate school, but in all honesty, most grads I know are much closer with their friends from home or undergrad–grad school doesn’t often foster close interpersonal relationships. You are a professionalized student, with an emphasis on “professional.” The depression rate among graduate students tends to be a bit high because of this.

The other thing is, I see a lot of undergrads AND grads who end up in graduate school and don’t really know why they’re there except that they “need” the degree in some abstract sense. But beyond that, they don’t really know what they want to DO with said degree. And trust me, you will NOT want to spend the $60K+ on a program (unless you get into a phD in which case they should be paying YOU) and come out not knowing why exactly you went or what the next step is. In this sense, life experience really can be a great thing. Even if you can’t find a job in psychology, you can probably find places to volunteer. Even talking to graduate students and professionals in the field is a good start–and people are always flattered that there’s someone out there interested in what they do! So maybe a little time off to give yourself some TLC, time to work on your applications, time to travel and be off in the world is not such a bad thing. 

I know it seems like the be-all end-all if you don’t get in the first time, but graduate schools are a dime a dozen and they have application openings every year. 2012 may not be your year, but that doesn’t mean you will never go. 

Post # 10
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First off, hugs to you and I’m sorry that you’re going through some tough times. What I’m going to say are things that I’m guessing you already know as a psychology student, but sometimes it’s hard to look at yourself objectively.

I strongly, strongly recommend finding a good therapist. Depression (and you do seem to be clinically depressed) is not something you can just overcome on your own. It doesn’t make you weak to seek help and it will not jeopardize a future career as a psychologist (in fact, many graduate psychology programs recommend that all students go through therapy for a time, whether they “need” it or not). You need to begin healing in order to be able to help others heal one day.

Don’t be afraid of never finding success, even if you never go to grad school. There are so many options out there where you can apply what you have learned (Speaking as a former psychology grad school dropout who now works in project management). Don’t let your past define your future. As scary as things may look right now, don’t give up.

Post # 11
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You are not a failure!

PM me anytime if you need to vent, ok?

Sometimes it helps to just get it all out!

Hang in there~*

Post # 12
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Know that you will come out stronger and if you have not yet gotten therapy, try to get theraphy to discuss how you fell about your past trauma.

You are not a failure! Been there with that feeling and there is so much you have done that others would give a right eye for. Remind yourself of how many others would love to have a first degree. Tell yourself how just soldiering on makes you a winner. You can get back into the grind, take the grad school disappointments as energy to make changes. Maybe you have a different path in life. Maybe your time have not yet come, but everyone has his or her own time in which times simply happen for them.

Last year was my time, after feeling despondent that I was the only one who had not completed my PHD while my friends were getting theirs PHD’s left right and center. I did not hold a full time job because I was constantly ill and my earning was much less than my qualifications should garner me. But you know what? All that was to make me stronger and to put me where I am now. A MUCH better place. 

*hugs

 

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