Post # 1
So my sister’s best friend is an amateur photographer. She had done my Fiance and I’s engagement pics. (She’s never done engagment or wedding pics before) I always had it in the back of mind that this girl must think I’m weird and awkward (cuz I guess I am). She charged us $75.00 for an hour (I don’t even know if we took pics for the whole hour or not, it didn’t feel like it). And near the end, I got a feeling she wanted to get out of there… (But then I’m always paranoid about people liking me and having something against me).
I had gotten the pics back, and I really wasn’t too impressed with them. I mean there were some pics that came out really well, but the poses seemed awkward and I don’t think she was capturing the angles very well. And her editing skills weren’t very good. I had told my mom about this…
Well, now come to find out after I ask her about the possibility of doing my wedding (Only because my Fiance is comfortable with her taking his picture which is his biggest fear with a photographer). And after she didn’t reply to me right away (I had a feeling when she didn’t want to…) and then my mom calls me the next day about the photographer who did her wedding…. She is uncomfortable doing our wedding because her editing skills or whatever…
I had asked my mom if anyone told her my feelings on the engagment photos, and she said No. Now, I feel really bad that somehow she might’ve found out my opinion, or that she declined because how weird my Fiance and I are, and it’s just awkward because she’s my sister’s best friend, who I’ll probably end up running to again in the future…
Should I feel bad? Or might it be a good idea that she declined our request?
(In general, I just feel like everyone doesn’t like me and is against me… 🙁 I’ve always had low self-esteem, and this situation doesn’t help.)
Post # 3
no you shouldnt feel bad. Find a photographer who wants to accept your money & wants to work with you!
Post # 4
It’s a good idea. Seriously, if you noticed her flaws with editing and capturing angles then you have to believe she sees her flaws times a hundred. Her backing out is a good thing. You need to go with a photog that isn’t going to let you down. Don’t take it personally; she’s an amateur. That cannot possibly be your fault.
Post # 5
@raziel1687: First things first….if you weren’t super happy with how the pictures turned out, she needs that feedback. No need to worry that someone told her and now her feelings are hurt…..she won’t be able to grow as a photographer otherwise.
Next thing – sweety, that way of thinking is going to make you sick. I would bet that you always feel tense and stressed and worried. I used to be you. Try to change your way of viewing the world and thinking – it will make life so much easier for you. I attached a picture of what helped me change my way of thinking. Try not to take anything personally from other people’s actions…more often than not, your assumptions will be incorrect embrace who you are, awkardness and all! Big Hugs
Post # 6
Weddings are HARD! I do newborn shoots and family shoots and have done for nearly a year, but there is no way I would do a wedding so early on. Especially if she can’t even extend an engagement session to more than an hour. Maybe she had the same realisation. You’ve dodged a bullet though. If you didn’t like the engagement pics, you would be equally disappointed with wedding photos.
Post # 7
If you weren’t really impressed with the engagement photos, you probably won’t be too impressed with your wedding photos if she takes them. I’d find another photographer.
Post # 8
@happyheidi1984: Thank you so much for your post! I will try to follow those tips!
Post # 9
You shouldn’t take her backing out personally. If she is an amateur photographer, she may not feel comfortable doing wedding photos. Wedding photos are a pretty big deal to most people, and unlike an engagement shoot, are not something you can do again if you dont like them. Theres a lot of pressure on the photographer to do a good job.
That being said, if you werent really impressed with her work on your engagement pictures, then it would be good to have someone else do your wedding photography. 🙂
Post # 10
@raziel1687: there could literally be a million different reasons she does not want to work with you, and the vast majority of those even POTENTIAL reasons have nothing to actually do with you.
It’s the same thing as going out with a guy and then having him not ask for a second date. There are a million different reasons a person may not want to see another person again, and plenty of reasons that have NOTHING to actually do with that person.
The bottom line is you don’t know why, so you need to choose to believe it’s not because you’re weird or becuase of anything negative about YOU. That’s right, choose. Right now, you are choosing to worry that it’s because you are weird or whatever. Anytime you feel this way and cite low self esteem, you’re making that same choice! Why do that? WHen you have the power to choose what to believe, why not choose the way that doesn’t make you feel bad.
Here, I would choose to believe its a purely professional reason and you guys are just not a good match. It’s important to find a good match in a photog! Be relieved you got out of this one, you weren’t thrilled with her work to begin with!
Post # 11
If you seriously are depressed over this and are not just using it as figure of speech, you need to get help and work on your issues.Feeling like everyone is out to get you and hates you isn’t normal.
That being said whenever you have those thoughts try to take your feelings out of it and think in a reasonable logical way. From what you said about this, she is inexperienced and never handled a wedding before, what in the world would make you think that she is ready for that level of responsbility. I think given what you said about her work, that she realizes her limitations, and I think she doesn’t want bite off more then she can chew.
You guys need to start looking for another photographer and find one you click with. I met plenty of professional photographers with great work, some who were cheaper then the ones I choose, and picking our photographer came down to personality. So explaining that your Fi isn’t uncomfotable having his picture taken and see how they respond to that and what they do to put his mind at ease. It’s also quite possible that your Fi may feel just as comfortable after having a practice shoot with the new photographer.
I also think it’s not a good way to spend your money picking vendors whose skills you clearly notice are clearly not up to par.
Long Story short,
1. Find Help and start working on your issues as soon as possible.
2. Maybe have trusted family members or friends like Mom help out with picking Vendors so you can have another clear view of your interaction with these people. So you can pick the best vendors with the best skills.
Post # 12
@raziel1687: If your friend is an amateur photographer, and you didn’t really care too much for the engagement photos, why would you want her to shoot your wedding?
I bet she doesn’t want to shoot any wedding because she is still a beginner photographer. Engagement pictures are always able to be retaken if they didn’t come out ok- wedding pictures? nope.
Post # 13
@raziel1687: Try to not take it personally. When I read this it sounded like she does not have the proper skill set for engagemetn and wedding photos-Wouldn’t you rather appreciate the fact that she is honest with you so you can make sure that your pics come out well and last forever-instead of her taking your money and giving you crappy pics that you can never have a do over for?
Post # 14
I’m confused as to why youu atill want to work with someones who you aren’t satisfied with to begin with? I say good riddance.
Post # 15
As a wedding photographer myself, if you feel that way about your e-pics and her editing skills, you won’t like the wedding pics. Don’t take it personally. She is probably nervous about taking on a wedding. I know I was my first few times. Move on and find someone better. On a side note, it IS hard to photograph friend and/or family weddings.