(Closed) Feeling Depressed, "Vendor" doesn't want to work with me…. :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

no you shouldnt feel bad. Find a photographer who wants to accept your money & wants to work with you!

Post # 4
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s a good idea. Seriously, if you noticed her flaws with editing and capturing angles then you have to believe she sees her flaws times a hundred. Her backing out is a good thing. You need to go with a photog that isn’t going to let you down. Don’t take it personally; she’s an amateur. That cannot possibly be your fault.

Post # 5
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@raziel1687:  First things first….if you weren’t super happy with how the pictures turned out, she needs that feedback. No need to worry that someone told her and now her feelings are hurt…..she won’t be able to grow as a photographer otherwise. 


Next thing – sweety, that way of thinking is going to make you sick. I would bet that you always feel tense and stressed and worried. I used to be you. Try to change your way of viewing the world and thinking – it will make life so much easier for you. I attached a picture of what helped me change my way of thinking. Try not to take anything personally from other people’s actions…more often than not, your assumptions will be incorrect Smile embrace who you are, awkardness and all! Big Hugs

Post # 6
982 posts
Busy bee

Weddings are HARD! I do newborn shoots and family shoots and have done for nearly a year, but there is no way I would do a wedding so early on. Especially if she can’t even extend an engagement session to more than an hour. Maybe she had the same realisation. You’ve dodged a bullet though. If you didn’t like the engagement pics, you would be equally disappointed with wedding photos. 

Post # 7
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you weren’t really impressed with the engagement photos, you probably won’t be too impressed with your wedding photos if she takes them. I’d find another photographer.

Post # 9
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You shouldn’t take her backing out personally. If she is an amateur photographer, she may not feel comfortable doing wedding photos. Wedding photos are a pretty big deal to most people, and unlike an engagement shoot, are not something you can do again if you dont like them. Theres a lot of pressure on the photographer to do a good job.

That being said, if you werent really impressed with her work on your engagement pictures, then it would be good to have someone else do your wedding photography. 🙂 

Post # 10
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@raziel1687:  there could literally be a million different reasons she does not want to work with you, and the vast majority of those even POTENTIAL reasons have nothing to actually do with you.

It’s the same thing as going out with a guy and then having him not ask for a second date. There are a million different reasons a person may not want to see another person again, and plenty of reasons that have NOTHING to actually do with that person.

The bottom line is you don’t know why, so you need to choose to believe it’s not because you’re weird or becuase of anything negative about YOU. That’s right, choose. Right now, you are choosing to worry that it’s because you are weird or whatever. Anytime you feel this way and cite low self esteem, you’re making that same choice! Why do that? WHen you have the power to choose what to believe, why not choose the way that doesn’t make you feel bad.

Here, I would choose to believe its a purely professional reason and you guys are just not a good match. It’s important to find a good match in a photog! Be relieved you got out of this one, you weren’t thrilled with her work to begin with!


Post # 11
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If you seriously are depressed over this and are not just using it as figure of speech, you need to get help and work on your issues.Feeling like everyone is out to get you and hates you isn’t normal.

That being said whenever you have those thoughts try to take your feelings out of it and think in a reasonable logical way. From what you said about this, she is inexperienced and never handled a wedding before, what in the world would make you think that she is ready for that level of responsbility. I think given what you said about her work, that she realizes her limitations, and I think she doesn’t want bite off more then she can chew.

You guys need to start looking for another photographer and find one you click with. I met plenty of professional photographers with great work, some who were cheaper then the ones I choose, and picking our photographer came down to personality. So explaining that your Fi isn’t uncomfotable having his picture taken and see how they respond to that and what they do to put his mind at ease. It’s also quite possible that your Fi may feel just as comfortable after having a practice shoot with the new photographer.

I also think it’s not a good way to spend your money picking vendors whose skills you clearly notice are clearly not up to par.


Long Story short,

1. Find Help and start working on your issues as soon as possible.

2. Maybe have trusted family members or friends like Mom help out with picking Vendors so you can have another clear view of your interaction with these people. So you can pick the best vendors with the best skills.

Post # 12
1186 posts
Bumble bee

@raziel1687:  If your friend is an amateur photographer, and you didn’t really care too much for the engagement photos, why would you want her to shoot your wedding?

I bet she doesn’t want to shoot any wedding because she is still a beginner photographer. Engagement pictures are always able to be retaken if they didn’t come out ok- wedding pictures? nope.

Post # 13
2036 posts
Buzzing bee

@raziel1687:  Try to not take it personally.  When I read this it sounded like she does not have the proper skill set for engagemetn and wedding photos-Wouldn’t you rather appreciate the fact that she is honest with you so you can make sure that your pics come out well and last forever-instead of her taking your money and giving you crappy pics that you can never have a do over for?

Post # 14
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m confused as to why youu atill want to work with someones who you aren’t satisfied with to begin with? I say good riddance.

Post # 15
1285 posts
Bumble bee

As a wedding photographer myself, if you feel that way about your e-pics and her editing skills, you won’t like the wedding pics. Don’t take it personally. She is probably nervous about taking on a wedding. I know I was my first few times.   Move on and find someone better.  On a side note, it IS hard to photograph friend and/or family weddings. 

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