Feeling disconnected from pregnancy

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Goldilocks1107: I have never been pregnant but I wanted to offer you some words of encouragement. Its winter, cold, you have tons of hormones running wild, you have a human being growing in your stomach. If you really think about it, its odd. lol You can feel however you like;0) As long as you eat enough to feed the baby everything will work out. When the Spring comes I’m sure this phase will have passed. Congrats!

Post # 4
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly not everyone is gaga over babies, nor does everyone what to talk about it all the day, I think what your feeling is totally normal. My Co-worker is the same way for both her pregnancys, shes kinda just Meh about it. She loves her little girl and is excited about having another but really it isn’t a big deal to her and she just acts like its a normal day.  Honestly I think I will be the same way when I have a baby.

Post # 5
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with ladylike… I’ve never had a baby so I can’t tell you from experience.  I can wish you luck, and suggest maybe talking to your OB/midwife or even psychologist.  Chances are you’re not the only person who has ever felt this way.  It’s likely you are feeling the same thing a thousand other expectant mothers have felt.  Talk with a health professional and get some perspective.  I’m sure you will feel better ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

This may or may not apply to you, but I wanted to share that some women get pre-partum depression (before giving birth).  I had this with my first daughter, but not with my second.  I felt disconnected and somewhat disinterested in my pregnancy.  I had no idea women ever felt that way before giving birth- but my Dr. assured me they do see it- although not as often as post-partum depression.  You might want to talk to your OBGYN about it. 

Post # 7
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m in the same boat with your feelings of already knowing I don’t want to do this again. I’m only 8w1d along but it has been a REALLY rough 8 weeks. I thought not drinking would be the toughest part of pregnancy, but it’s EVERYTHING ELSE that’s killing me. I’ve had a lot of spotting/bleeding, strange pains, a trip to the ER for migraines, even petechia, my holidays were completely ruined and my career is suffering.

I feel nothing but sick, tired, scared, all THE TIME. The constant stress over possibly miscarrying is sickening to me. Not only would I be devastated if the baby died, but the idea of having to start all over is intolerable. I always imagined having at least two kids, but I’m starting to think I’ll be so so grateful if I even have this one. I really do want children, badly, but pregnancy really sucks.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I also can’t imagine letting people touch belly when it starts to get big and all that weird stuff. I’ve always been a very private person and this is awkward for me too.

Post # 9
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is totally normal.  I hated being pregnant with my son.  I had a pretty easy pregancy to other than going 7 weeks early.  Through out the pregancy I was rather blah about it until the baby started to kick constantly, even then I would get annoyed because he kicked all the time and wouldn’t stop.  Though honestly feeling him kick quite a bit did help make my feelings better about being pregnant.  I want one more child but so am not looking forward to 9 months again of being pregnant if we have another child..

Post # 11
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

I was totally like that when I was pregnant. I wasn’t really connected to the pregnancy, nor did I enjoy it. I wasn’t the person who talked to her belly all the time and I overall I was just kinda “meh” when it came to being pregnant. I enjoyed eating all the time, and that’s about it. Once I finally came to terms with the fact that a baby was in my belly, I then resorted to thinking “OMG this thing has to come OUT of my body!” lol

But when my DS arrived, I was soooooooooo over the moon happy and in love.

It’s normal. Just because other women love being pregnant, doesn’t mean you have to. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Goldilocks1107: That’s terrible that you have that added pressure! My one consolation in all of this is that I don’t think my hubby would have been devastated if we didn’t have kids at all. If that is the case he certainly has hid it well to keep me from feeling pressured. I think Darling Husband will be happy with one child and even happier with two, but I really think he’s going to let me have the final say. It is my body after all. It’s also a comfort to know that if I want to take a year or two off after this one, I’m sure he’ll have no qualms with that.

You should definitely talk to your hubby about your feelings when the time is right. Unless you’re in your early 40s there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to convince him to take a year or two off and see how you both feel then. I think it will give you some peace of mind knowing you don’t have to jump right back in after your LO is born. I’ve also read that it’s good to wait two years between kids if you can, it’s better for the woman’s body to have that recovery time, and then your first kid is hopefully out of diapers before the second one is born so you have more attention to devote to the new baby… just something that might help your case ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Consider yourself LUCKY! People who are extremely fussy about being pregnant and find the need to talk about it 24/7 are just a nuisance to themselves and ALL OTHERS around them. You are just being normal. That doesn’t mean your kids will be emotionally detached from you or anything. Once you hold that lil’ one in your arms, you will know what I mean. You don’t have to be gushy-mushy about certain things to know and understand their value to you. The bond a mother and child share is inexplicable.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I feel more disconnected from this pregnancy too, I mentioned it before on another thread. You’re definitely not alone. I think, as bad as it sounds, I really can’t imagine a fourth person joining our family. Our family didn’t feel incomplete before I got pregnant, and it still doesn’t feel like anything is “missing.” So I feel excited, but in a way… wary? I feel protective of my little girl because for almost 4 years it’s just been the two of us, and now that’s about to change. I guess I’m just afraid of the unknown. It’s been hard to bond with this pregnancy because of all the what-ifs. I hope as I get further along and maybe get used to the gender or feel more kicking it will get better.

Post # 15
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Goldilocks1107:  This may not be the best thing to say, but I’m full term and I still have those feelings.  I think KatyElle put it best.  There’s so many unknowns and what-ifs that it’s hard to get excited.  I know for me, I don’t think about how exciting it is to have a baby, I think about all the things I need to do from now on to make sure I raise her healthy and happy.  Once she gets here, I know that will all change, but for now, that’s what I’m thinking about.

Post # 16
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah I’m gonna have to agree with you, but I think my issue is the fact that I’m not that far along, almost 12w, and I hate winter time. lol I hate being cold and inside most of the time. I’m always in a not so good mood in the winter. With this being our first baby, I can’t offer much advice other than just to enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy. Find stuff that you enjoy doing, by yourself, with friends etc. Take a deep breathe, things will get better. ๐Ÿ™‚

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