Post # 1
Last August I had an unfortunate accident while cooking dinner where I severed my tendons in two of my fingers on my right hand (and yes I’m right hand dominant). Since then I have had two reconstructive surgeries and have been in a splint and unable to drive or do basic tasks for myself like cook or tie my shoes. I also have physical therapy twice a week and rigorous at-home schedule of things I must do every hour to get better. It really sucks and is very frustrating and scary because my hand won’t do the things I need it to do.
Luckily I am in a job that I can still do with only one hand as it is mostly mental, however it is often hard getting through the day because there are so many things that I am asked to do now that just seem to pale in comparison to what I am dealing with every day. Not to mention that once an hour I have to stop everything I am doing to exercise my hand. I had been doing very well but hit a mental wall it feels like last week. Im always thinking what if I dont get my hand back, and I’m frustrated by the lack of definitive answers around when things will improve and what to expect.
All of this happened within 5 months of me moving to a new state, moving in with my Boyfriend or Best Friend, and getting a new job. It’s a lot. Things were also a bit rough with my Boyfriend or Best Friend which left me questioning everything. He is being supportive and I rely on him to drop me to work, cook dinner, laundry, mostly everything but its very very hard, as I am very independent. It also made me really aware of who my friends are, as the only real friend I made here has not come to visit me once in the past 7 months – even though she can call when she needs my Boyfriend or Best Friend to sell her car. Not really sure what I’m writing this – I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.
Post # 2
That totally sucks! But don’t get discouraged! I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to not be able to do the easy things you’ve always been able to do. Definitely keep up with your PT and everything the docs say about getting full use of your right have back. But also realize that there are a ton of accomidations that you can make so that you can get through your life without or with limited use of your right hand. It’s not easy, but there are tons of people out there that have amuptations or lose function in their hand through accidents similar to yours and are eventually able to do most things that they did previously, just in a new way. Some things are simple – like wearing velcro or slip on shoes instead of lace up shoes. And some things are more complicated – like getting your car accomidated so that you can drive without the full use of your right arm. But there are tons of solutions out there to make your life easier and more independent. If you’ve been holding off on making these accomodations because your surgery may get the full use back, I’d encourage you to think about going ahead with some of these types of accomodations, if only during your recovery period. It sounds like it would make your life better. And don’t wait for your friends to contact you – give them a call and set up a time to go out to dinner or watch a movie or something!
This must be incredibly difficult and you are definitely allowed to take a minute to curse your luck at ending up in the position. But take that moment and then move on to figuring out how to make your life work better for this situation. It’ll get better! It almost always does, after something like this. Keep trucking on and don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. People often want to help, but don’t know how. Let them know you need support and they usually are happy to provide it. Otherwise, you can always get support here on the bee!
Post # 3
sortawaitingbee: You have a lot on your plate at the same time. An accident like that really points out how one moment in our life can be life changing. Fortunately you do have a boyfriend to help and a job which allows you to continue to make living.
This has been a difficult time for you. Here’s to a better 2014.
Post # 4
Thank you both. I’m trying to stay positive but some days it just really sucks. @JenGirl- I think you’re right and I really need to find some ways to get my independence back. I hate being a burden and probably the psychological part is the worst.