(Closed) Feeling down because I'm "not excited enough"

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I also had never had a desire to bask in the pregnancy glory. I wiislnt get so annoyed with my family members who insisted on treating me like some kind of zoo animal. I wondered if there was something wrong with me, if I wasn’t emotionally connected to my unborn babies, but like you I truly enjoyed sharing the experience with my husband. In the end I think in just not a mushy person, I feel like pregnancy is amazing but it’s natural…everyone has babies! I also got so tired of not being able to have a normal discussion. Just wanted to say you aren’t alone! 

Btw, my babies are here and I adore them…obviously my feelings did not affect bonding. 

Post # 17
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Do you feel depressed? Pregnancy-related depression isn’t limited to postpartum.

Post # 19
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

AnonymousCupcake: Oh I know exactly how you feel. We really wanted this baby, but I pretty much ended up with horrid MS instantly and that sort of knocked the wind out of my excitement. Then we had a sewage flood at our house and had to move with pretty much no notice (we rented the place and our landlord wouldn’t fix it, so we wrapped up as fast as we could). So life was pretty much chaos and I almost forgot about being pregnant at all, except from having my MS medication and my Mother-In-Law constantly telling me that I couldn’t over-work myself (well… try to live in a sewage filled house yourself, I’m pretty sure you would do anything you could to get out ASAP. So in case you don’t offer to help, don’t tell me I can’t work too hard!)… And then lately we’ve had the people petting my tummy… Seriously, if you want to pet something so hard – pay the fee for a petting zoo and leave me alone!

On the upside, I saw the baby move on the outside of my tummy two days ago – that made me feel so much more connected to this little creature. Like it put up with all of the crap as well and soldiered through the mayhem with me – now letting me know that all will be fine.

Post # 20
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in the EXACT same boat as  you. I don’t like to speak out about my pregnancy. Meanwhile there’s a lady where I used to work, whose kids were near 10 years old and she’s STILL talking about her pregnancy! OMG!! So annoying!

Anyway, I do get those questions as well and I just respond with vague answers like “I’m feeling fine. Thank you for asking. And yourself? What are you up to these days?” This changes the topic of conversation from my pregnancy to them. And most people loveeeeeeeee to talk about themselves.

To tell you the truth, there’s a LOTTTTTTTTT I can talk about regarding my pregnancy. It’s been a roller coaster ride with a LOT of things going wrong at home and in my personal life and how I came through it all with a pregnancy but I prefer not to yap about my business with anyone. So I totally understand how you must be feeling.

Post # 21
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

AnonymousCupcake:  I totally feel you! Whn I was engaged I felt like all anyone wanted to talk to me about was the wedding. When I was pregnant, all they wanted to talk about to me was the baby. Hello, there is more to me as a person then the one big thing happening in my life! I am a very stoic person by nature so I don’t wear my emotions or excitement on my sleeve and so man people seem to have a problem with that. I have no good advice unfortunately, I just tried to grin and bear it. People do generally mean well and are just excited but it doesn’t mean your feelings of annoyance or lack of excitement aren’t valid.  It’s a huge life change, you’re going to naturally have a range of emotions about it. They have zero bearing on how you will feel when you hold your baby for the first time. Hang in there!

Post # 22
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


I totally understand EVERYTHING you are saying. Honestly, people treat you like… well, like you’re not YOU anymore, just a vessel, an upcoming event, etc.  It’s ridiculous. And don’t get me started on the pregnancy police re food, drink, lifting stuff, etc. ARGH! But, as urchin above said, you may as well try to ENJOY the attention/ fawning, and realize people will have opinions on everything you do as a future Mom too, so learning to be Zen and let things go earlier rather than later is definitely the way to go.

Maybe try and focus on doing things that aren’t pregnancy related and just keep trying to talk about those things, and ask people about things going on in their lives. OR, if you are really struggling and prepared to smile and nod a lot, ask them about THEIR kids/ birth stories/ other friends who are pregnant/ etc. Then at least you don’t have to talk as much! Sorry you are feeling this way! Hormones can also play a part so hopefully you will be feeling better soon. I am NOT excited 24/7 being pregnant either, you can’t be excited all the time for a year! And being pregnant is hard! And involves a lot of very normal, necessary physical and emotional changes and worry. So don’t feel badly, you feel how you feel!

Post # 23
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How wonderful that your baby will have such a calm and chill mom 🙂  

The pregnancy talk doesn’t bother me too much, but at the beginning I was overwhelmed and terrrified (I’m bringing a human into this world!) for my planned and wanted pregnancy, and it did hurt that people sometimes mistook that as me not being excited. I’m allowed to have mixed emotions and not just fit into other people’s expectations.

You are who you are, and you’re certainly the perfect person to be the mother of your child. To hell with anyone who says you aren’t “excited enough,” whatever that means.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  FruitBasket.

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