Post # 1
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
Hey guys,
This has been bothering me a bit lately and I just want to get it off my chest. We’re having the wedding at my FIL’s farm and therefore, my FI’s family is super involved in everything, which is fine, but makes it feel like it’s less about our wedding sometimes and more about a chance for my FI’s family to have a get together. They are all very excited and out going people in contrast to my very quiet, small, family. This is all fine for the most part, my family has been very supportive in a quiet way, however, don’t really want to be outwardly part of the wedding. Both my brothers have said they don’t want to do anything and recently my mom told me that my dad wasn’t planning on making a speech because he doesn’t want to talk in front of people (which would be fine if someone else wanted to make a speech but no one wants to). It just makes me sad because I’m a super outgoing person and love nostalgia and speeches and all that. To make it worse, I had a falling out with one of my BM’s husbands right before we got engaged and things have been fine but weird ever since. Just not the same, nor the way I want it before my wedding. Everything will be fine, I know, but just a little disappointed. Also, tons of my friends declined to come due to the drive etc. whereas no one from his side has declined.
Sorry bees, just felt like I needed a humpday vent. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
Hi there,
First, I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Nobody wants to feel that their wedding isn’t important.
Have you thought about approaching your family and explaining how you feel. I honestly don’t think they’re acting disinterested to hurt you. With brothers they can be funny…I had to figure out exactly what I wanted mine to do, flesh out a proposal complete with job discription and present it to him. Once he knew what he was signing up for and how important I saw his role he took to it and is looking forward to being part of my wedding. As far as your father, I think he has to know how much it would mean to you to have him speak at your wedding, even if for a couple minutes. He’s the first man to have loved you and having his blessing the day you marry the one who does just as much is important stuff.
I hope this helps! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
@musicalrose:
Thanks for the support! Mostly I just wanted to get it off my chest. My Fiance feels bad but it’s not really anyone’s fault that my family’s shy and his isn’t, and that the distance is far for my family and friends and not for his. It’s just nice to be able to say, man this sucks! sometimes and not have to deal wiith any family guilt, you know?
I have mentioned it to my mom who said she would let my dad know. I asked only for a welcome speech and a welcoming of my Fiance to the family and she said she’d get back to me with what he says. I know it’s not meant to be hurtful, they are just shy, quiet people.
Post # 5
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
feel your pain honey – my sister has decided to leave the country when it is time for my wedding. she doesnt even want to come. Maybe coz I am the first to get married and she is older? she is a flake when it comes to major events in my family. Sad really 🙁
Post # 6
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
@LollyQ:
that’s too bad. my half sister has also not let me know if she will be coming or not. she’s not sure if she can make the trip. i guess i just thought if i planned a wedding like in the movies, my family would behave like families in the movies. I did call my brother and talk to him about perhaps speaking instead of my dad and although he’s reluctant (he thinks it’s weird since my dad is still alive, I think his exact words were “what? but dad’s not dead!”) he’s a sucker for making others happy even if he really doesn’t want to do something. so here’s hoping.
Post # 7
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
@mrsspaghetti: my guys parents don’t want to speak so I think I will ask his sister to do it instead. we will have to fight my dad to get the mic off of him lol but it will hit hard that my own sister wont be their on the day. she celebrated her 30th birthday recently and we weren’t invites to anything, she didnt even open the card mum and dad got her and she told me she was allergic to the 2 bottles of expensive french champagne i got her (because she told me she really liked it a month earlier). I feel majorly let down but i am not going to let her ruin my happiness.
When i was single i always wondered if I would get married or not and loved the movie Father of The Bride with Steve Martin (and still do) I wanted and dreamed of the same thing as you – to have all the family close and happy – atleast the rest of the family will support me even if dhe isn’t. No-ones life or wedding planning goes like clockwork like romantic movies – even FOB movie wasn’t a dream wedding lol
P.S I am two bottles of french champagene up so thats the positive outcome – I wouldn’t normally get that for myself!!! LOL Gotta keep looking at the positives……lets put our rose coloured glasses on and have fun !!! xxx